Slurpees are the BEST!

That's right. I said it. Slurpees are the best. My favourite. In fact, I take a daily trip to Mac's with all three kids to feed my addiction. I mean, pleasure. But seriously, add a slurpee on a hot day and I am in Heaven. ...And apparently, so is Noah. (Note the TWO slurpee cups. Don't worry, I think Jackson found mine later on).

Pretty much if it's not hot enough to put the sprinklers on in the back yard, or if we're not at the park, Ellie and I sit out front while the boys ride their bikes up and down the sidewalk. I cannot get over how pretty my little girl is. I find myself gazing at her throughout the day and I make sure to address it later on to Joe. Everyday. I am in love with my little girl. After two boys, who wouldn't be? Right?

Bwahahaha! I love this. My "pretty" girl! Just exploring the world.

She really wants that weed.

This is Jackson. All the time. He loves Ellie. "Can I hold her bottle?" "Hey Ellie, look at this!" while he flops on the bed just to make her laugh. It's adorable. Noah joins in here and there, but let's not forget he's two, and babies are not the first thing on his list of "things to pay attention to."

The last couple of weeks, Ellie has been rocking back and forth on all fours, and just yesterday managed to start crawling! Which means, she moved her hand and leg forward then gracefully face-planted. It is SO cute to see her try so hard. On the other hand, this means a whole new ball game for Mommy! Up goes the gate. Sigh.... P.S. of all things, she said, "Dada." yesterday. Thanks a lot Ellie. After all the things I do for you and you say, "Dada." ;)

And this is what I mean by "riding bikes." My boys are... well, boys. Crazy could be another word. They go at full speed coming at each other and CRASH! It's hilarious apparently.

Noah. My cute, sweet, cuddly, still-trying-to-talk-but-can't-say-his-words-properly, Noah. Just now he came up to me and saw these pictures and said, "Mah-m, Ah Rah-t a Bah-k nah-w, pah-z." Which interpreted means, "Mom, I ride a bike now, please." Or in other words, "Can I ride my bike now, please?" Cute, cute boy.

We are coming to the final days of Summer, ...(actually, it's Jenny's Birthday today. Happy Birthday Jinnaaaaaaay!), and I hate that Summer has to end. (Thanks a lot Jenny). Hate. I know I was taught never to use that word, but, I really dislike that Summer is so short and that the heat is already gone! It feels like Fall already and August isn't even officially over. No fairsies. Don't worry. I usually let the slurpee runs go on well into Winter until Summer finds me again. Do slurpee days really have to end? No. Not for me.

MOCKING JAY!

This day has been along awaited! I was introduced to "Hunger Games" at the end of last year, and thankfully was able to go right into reading the second book, "Catching Fire" a month or so later. Mocking Jay on the other hand was a much anticipated book! The book release party happened last night at midnight, and you can bet I went!

I more than "went." We all got dolled up like Katniss (the main character), and by "we" I mean Me, Bethany, Sarah and Cassandra Bailey. So EXCITED! (We missed you Jenny, Alysha, Amelia, Jordana and Barb!)

We tried to paint our fingernails like fire. "Tried" would be the key word. When you shake them back and forth fast enough it kind of looks like fire...?

I'll admit, I was a little jealous of Sarah's Mocking Jay pin. She said she got it when she pre-ordered, ...but I pre-ordered the book too and didn't get anything cool like a Mocking Jay pin! Poo!

Eliza joined us as well. She was probably the most excited laying there on the couch. (Actually, at first glance of this picture I thought she was a doll. Haha!).

You BET I bought us some bows and arrows! We ARE Katniss, aren't we? Well except for me in this shot because I am dying, ...but.....

Our Arrival at the Midnight Book Release Party! And here we are with the Head Gamekeeper ready to begin our Journey.

And here's Gale. We're not impressed. Where's Peeta?

"Peeta's Bakery!" Love it!

The best result in my opinion was Sarah's cupcake. She decorated it like a sunset because that's Peeta's favourite shade of orange. Very clever Sarah. You win.

In the games...

Bethany has the friendliest look for an owl murderer. Perhaps that is one of her tactics?

So we found Peeta at the archery station, which is interesting. We should be teaching HIM how to shoot an arrow. We humored him. ;)

I love the back of Sarah's hair! Very cool Bethany! Well done!

Sarah did my hair. Thanks Sarah!

We found Peeta! ...again.....

...sigh....

"PEETA!"

Random, I know. But we had to take a picture of this calendar! Haha! For whatever reason Jenny, we thought you might appreciate this picture. So, appreciate away!

The best is the Michael Jackson one!

We had one long evening what with all of our hunting and muffin eating, so thankfully there was a Starbucks there. There's nothing like a $4 dollar lemonade! Janine Hodder met us there, too. We had fun chatting and getting pumped up for the book release! The best part is while we were hanging out and waiting for midnight to come, everyone else was lining up! Woops!

Reading the Juicy Peeta parts of course.....

"...yes! ....go on!...." ("I'll be right behind you...." I had to finish that one. It's a quote from CLUE).

FINALLY! The book in our hands! Were we the nerdiest ones there? Quite possibly. But lastnight was a blast! And once my kids are napping, I can begin to read. I hope. ...Please nap children. Please soon. And long too, preferably.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

The next day the kids woke up and saw our loot of bows and arrows from the night before. I guess I've been living with the true Peeta all along.

We honestly had so much fun. I think the funnest parts are always the getting-ready and all of the picture-taking, ...and of course anticipating the book! ...Let the reading BEGIN!

I Wrote a Song

It's been a while folks, but I finally wrote a song that I like. A song that makes me feel. And a song that makes me cry. It's called, "Today is Gone" (a.k.a. "Jenny moved to Cleveland"). I actually wrote it August 4th in about twenty minutes. That's how apparent my feelings were; it just all spilled out and that, I believe, is how a good song should be written. I was just playing it now and tweaking a few parts, and I really, really, love it. I feel like I've been consumed with trying to write hit songs for other people and trying to go outside of myself to get there, but this song is SO deep inside of me, and so all about how I am feeling right now. It's a good feeling to have. I like writing what I want to write about. (Sex and money are boring). The song is about how I can't seem to let go. Now that Jenny has moved away, I don't want to believe that I have to just move on; Things are different now, and I don't like it. If you know me, you know that me and Sarah and Jenny were inseparable, and did everything together, and we could do young and silly things together and it didn't matter how stupid because we were TOGETHER doing them. And now that Jenny is gone, it literally feels like a piece of me is missing. That's how close we are. The only thing I can do to keep it together is Skype Jenny practically everyday so I don't get depressed about it. But in all honesty, I'm pretty broken. So the song had to happen. But on a much more "grand" scale, it's about wanting to pause time and relish in the moments that are "today" and not regret time that has passed. Today only happens once and then becomes tomorrow. All too quickly. Sigh. So, ...I guess you could say it's about time.

"Today Is Gone"
By Maren Ord

Time is all we have and
Time can heal the past 'cause
Time is all we have

Life, it hands me pictures in my head
It hands me pain and much regret
It hands me love

Chorus:
Don't go away and leave me
Here to stay
I thought I had today
But today is gone
Today is gone

You, you promised me that you
Would stay with me but you
You left me here

(Chorus)

Bridge:
You have moved on and
I am stuck in this rut

Time. Time. Time.

It's BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

That's right. I got my period. It's been about a year and a half I think since I've last had to deal with tampons and such. It happened yesterday at the mall, and I was not prepared! I had to borrow change from Christie, and then there was a quarter already stuck in the machine! Thankfully there are nice people out there who have been in my shoes before, so this lady comes out of the stall with a tampon practically already in her hand, "Need a tampon?" Um. Yes. Thanks.

Anywho, so day two is always the worst. Joe is on a fishing trip with his Dad and brothers for a week, I dropped off Ellie so I would only have the two boys at church today, but somehow it was still chaos, and I had to do sharing time on top of it all (which seemed like the only thing that went right today and it wasn't even that good). Anywho, ...I think with periods come cravings. It's like being pregnant all over again where you just NEED to have crap in your body, and right now for me, it's Diet Coke. I have been off Diet Coke for over a year and a half now (I say it like it's an addiction, because for me, it is!), but have been slowly filling my cravings with Coke Slurpees. Which is worse? They are both bad for me. But they are also both Heaven to me! Why? Why do these substances that I love so much have to be so addicting? And why is it that with all of my period cramps the only thing that will sooth my pain physically and make my body smile is a fizzy, ice cold Diet Coke from a can? Sigh. I love Diet Coke. Why am I trying to separate what is meant to be? Me and Diet Coke united again. That's how it should be. I'll let you know if I officially cave. I think in my mind I already have.

On to other things, I really don't like it when Joe leaves town. I guess it's bitter-sweet. My house somehow remains clean and tidy when he's gone, (I wonder why?), which is a plus. But, I miss him. (And I'm always afraid that Zombies are somehow going to find their way into my house as soon as I turn out the lights, but that's another topic altogether!). My favourite thing about Joe is hands-down, he makes me laugh. I could really use him around with my negative-period-thoughts bargaining for my time. Or perhaps a good chick-flick would do the trick. I was telling Jenny I feel like watching "Becoming Jane" tonight, ...but, I don't. Do I feel like crying? A little. Do I feel like stuffing sugar/chocolate into my body? Heavens yes. Oh those lovely hormones. All swirling around inside me! Sigh. I kind of don't have a choice anyway since I don't own the movie. Too depressing anyway, so it's probably better this way. But I will still eat my chocolate.

Ellie's First Fever

It was bound to happen sometime. So sad. But so cute. How can something like a fever be so adorable? Does that make me a bad person? To think that it's cute that your daughter actually wants to cuddle you, and will lean her head down while you're holding her and fall asleep in your arms? Well that's what she did with me, and it was so sweet! But it was so sad. I'd put her down on her tummy to play with some nearby toys and she'd just lay her head down as though she didn't have the strength to lift it up or reach for a toy. Thankfully it was only a 24 hour thing and she's her usual bubbly, smiley self. It's nice to have a trial run and know that her fevers don't cause her to have seizures like Noah. Hopefully they never get that bad. When Noah was about 9 months his fever got so high that he started convulsing and seizuring, and we had to take him into the hospital. Turned out he had the flu. The FLU! Babies are so fragile! I hope that never happens again. Milo had a fever last week and when he woke up from a nap he was BLUE and had to be rushed to the hospital! Turns out it was a urinary tract infection. Who knows which fevers are for what sicknesses? So of course when Ellie got her fever yesterday I was a little on the paranoid side. She barfed HUGE yesterday morning before getting hot, and HUGE this morning but no fever today thank goodness. Anywho, I just hate it when babies are sick! Even though I said I liked the cuddling, of course I would rather them be comfortable than have to suffer. Ever. It makes me sick when I think back to WWII or Pioneer times when I know that those babies were not fed enough. Ah! I can't think about it now that I have kids. I feel so lucky to be living in a time and place where there is no war and I live in a comfortable home and we have medicine and enough for our needs, and even wants. Anywho, ....tangent. I know.

Here are some fun pics of Ellie when we went to WEM last week and took the boys to the slides with Madilyn. The pouty-lips are her new thing.

On a completely different note/tangeant, Satan is real. Earlier today I was working out and while I was working out I decided to listen to some of my old songs that I had written and recorded years ago just to revisit them and see if they were worth trying to pitch to other artists. Right now I have a contact in Nashville who knows a thing or two about pitching songs. But not just any songs. Country songs! Which is so not my forte. At all. So thankfully, there's a lot of cross-over Country-Pop that I think I can swing. Anywho, so I'm listening to possible choices that could be cross-overs, like, "All I Want Is You" or "Tell Me Off" or "Just Breathe" or "Beautiful" or "Life is a Train" etc, and I was getting really pumped because I felt like I had some good options that were already recorded to pitch. And it seemed like immediately after getting excited I had the sad feeling that I am a has-been and it's been so long since I've written a good song, why am I even trying to keep going down this road? Satan. Thanks, but no thanks! I wish I had recognized that it was him that was trying to get into my head and tell me I wasn't good enough sooner. It's hard to believe I am sometimes when I haven't actively been writing or performing or recording. I miss it a lot. But I knew when I started having kids that there was a time and place for everything. I never want to resent my kids. I never want them to feel like they are in the way of my career. I chose them and I chose when to have them, and I also know I am not done having them. I do believe, however, that the Lord has provided me opportunities in the right time to be able to dabble here and there and work on projects here and there and write when inspired. It is definitely not as often, but I DO have a few minutes here and there sometimes. I can hear my boys playing and laughing in their room upstairs (they're supposed to be sleeping), and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I chose them and I love them. Reminders like that are good every once in a while I guess.