The first couple weeks of Covid were a shock. I remember that first day when I found out that all church activities would be cancelled, including church, and then I wondered, what next?! I remember this because Noah was meeting up with all of his friends in the Deacon's quorum ready to leave for an overnight camping trip. We were all waiting in the parking lot for Bishop Doney to show up and when he did, he gave us the sad news that camp would be cancelled. Noah went home and cried. I went home and felt sick. Everything seemed so eery. All the shutting down, no more meeting with large groups of people, supplies at the grocery store were limited (still are), no school, job security at an alarming low. Just. Lots of weird. But it seemed like it would only be a couple weeks at first. I thought to myself, this can't last. But. It has. We are approaching week seven and it was just announced two days ago that Summer would basically be cancelled. So all that fighting to keep my mental health steady for bluer skies that are sure to come (ie: Summer) came to a halt. But let's not focus on the dark abyss that is our future, instead let's look at some of the memories we've created. When I'm in a major funk and don't have control over my situation, there's really only one thing I can do, and that is do the things I CAN control. I can smile. I can be a fun parent. I can live each day with purpose. So. That's what I did.
That first week when school was still being figured out (there was no school or assignments that first week), I let the kids go wild and build a massive fort. This came to be because Zoe had built a tiny fort that Jane had wrecked and was crying about it. I wanted to cry too because life that day was just UGH! Then Jackson offered to help Zoe build the biggest and best fort ever. Different tears came over that. I loved seeing Jackson rise to the occasion to cheer up his little sister. All of the kids chipped in, and viola! We kept it up for a few days. They brought their flashlights in and read books, played games, and the boys even slept in it one night. Ellie tried to, but it didn't last.
This was my first trip to the Doctor's office that first week. I needed to fill a prescription. Weird. But glad they were taking social-distancing seriously. Yes, the chairs were all spread apart, but seeing it empty like this was just strange. No one is going to the doctor because we are all being asked to stay home, so emergency cases only. And you will be turned away if you are showing any symptoms of covid. They have to screen everyone. Joe's clinic has to do the same. They are functioning at about 3%, so ask me how we feel about that.
My friend, Lou Moan, who is an artist, offered different art-challenges that first week while school was basically out and we were all trapped at home. She asked us to draw something we missed. I did this with the kids a few times that week. For that challenge, I drew Joe's smile. He has been working such long and late hours to save his clinic (which he is still trying to do), and smiling was kind of out of the question for him. It's hard to be light and fun when you have to let staff go and when you don't know if the dream-company you just spent years building is going to die. We still don't. Very uncertain times over here.
What can I control? Creating fun opportunities at home. It only just barely started warming up last week, so it's been over a month of cold and snow! We still forced ourselves to go outside, but it never lasted long, so we played games like Dutch Blitz. This was a new game for Zoe, but she loves it, and just last week she won her first game on her own! So, it is now her favourite game. Who am I kidding? It was her favourite from the start. Losing game after game doesn't stop this girl! Nothing gets Zoe down. On this particular day, we were making up weird covid-dutch-blitz songs. It was definitely getting weird, but my kind of weird, so I loved it. Noah joined us later which is why he isn't pictured.
Here's Jackson emptying out his locker. This made me feel sick. Earlier that day I had gone to the elementary school to pick up the other kids' things, and felt the same thing. Just eery. No busy hallways full of children. No shaking hands. Keep a distance! Hand sanitizer after every touch of anything. At this point I thought this was a little over-kill. Why pick up everything if we're only going to be home for a couple weeks? At this point I was definitely in denial. I kept thinking, this can't last! But it did. Home-school is here to stay and it's been a tough ride.
There was a lot of "just do what you can!" from well-meaning teachers. But then that soon turned into, "this and that assignment is due" and the expectations continued to grow and be expected. If I had a computer per kid, I might be fine, but I've got Jackson who, because he is in Junior High School, is expected to apply two hours of school time per day. The elementary aged school kids are one hour. This is balogne! Jackson spends at least three hours a day, partly because he wants to do a good job on his assignments but also because there are just too many assignments. Three hours a day from a student who is independent and understands directions easily is all fine and good. But that is one out of three children. The other three are not independent. They don't all read the instructions and know exactly what to do, and even when it is explained to them exactly what they need to do, they need me to check their work to make sure they have done it properly. They also all share a laptop between the three of them. At first it only seemed that Noah (grade six) was the only one who really needed to hand anything in, so I gave him most of the time on the laptop. I decided to buy some workbooks for the girls from Costco because they had all the curriculum in them for their grades and made it fun. I would see what their teachers wanted to focus on that week and then find some pages in their booklet for them to focus on. But then I also had to go over their work and mark it. I was suddenly becoming a full-time teacher. I will tell you this folks, I am not meant to be a full-time teacher! Not my forte! And no, I don't remember how to do grade four Math! Did Jackson have to walk me through a few things to jog my memory? Yes! Anywho, to top it off, Ellie and Zoe's teachers started to expect things to be handed in! This meant, ALL of my children needed screens and school would be SPREAD OUT ALL DAY LONG! My sanity was going out the window. It was expressed early on that there would be no borrowing chrome books from the school, so I was feeling pretty defeated. After a conversation with Sarah, she mentioned I should just explain my situation and ask. So. I did. But instead of asking the principal, I went to Jackson's teacher because she knows him and knows he's a good kid and would be so responsible with the school's device. Well. I got the answer I expected. It was a no. No one was getting devices. I threw myself a little pity party. This past week has been a weepy week. But then, the very next day (just a few days ago), his teacher got back to me and said that she plead my case and I can come pick up a chrome book. You have to know that all week leading up to this point has been a fight. A fight to smile. A fight to feel safe. A fight to have a solid working marriage with communication and laughing. A fight for each kid to do their work within the allotted time and do it well. A fight to make sure all assignments that needed to be handed in were actually being handed in. A fight to make sure that kids were making the zoom meetings they were required to make. You get the point. It's been a lot. So to have someone go to bat for me and to have a win this week was just something really special. I will call it a tender mercy. I thanked Jackson's teacher (Joanne Lafferty) and could not stop crying for the next two days. Just so grateful to not only have a win after feeling like I keep losing at everything, but to have someone care enough to bat for me. I'm crying again just writing this. It has made a world of a difference in our home. And also what a great example of compassion and love for our fellowman.
Getting creative with "movement" time on a cold day. Thank you Zoe's teacher (Christa Anderson)!
And even on those cold days, we made sure to get out. We all needed it. For our mental health and sanity. Give us that vitamin D! That first week we would walk to different playgrounds. But now they are all taped off like a zombie-appocolypse. I keep waiting for a zombie to stumble out of the playground one of these days when I walk by. My thoughts go there because that is how creepy this whole shut-down thing is. It's weird. And with the latest announcement that things will continue to stay shut down through the Summer breaks my heart. No beach. No swimming pools. No visiting my parents in Whitefish. I have all the swear words for that. Actually, I'm too sad to swear. Joe and I have talked about ways we can spruce up our yard to make it fun for the kids, so we are looking at getting a trampoline. The kids have wished this for YEARS! It only took a pandemic for it to happen, but the kids are pumped for it. Assuming we can find one.... every parent and their dog are thinking the same thing! SO, finding a fair-priced trampoline at this time may prove to be as difficult as finding toilet paper at the grocery store!
This was the line-up for Costco upon my first grocery trip. 9am. They can only let a certain number of costumers in at a time to prevent chaos (you are not allowed more than two people per household---sorry kids), so I stood in the cold for twenty minutes. What was so eery to me that first week is now the new norm at any time of day. They Lysol each shopping cart and have signs all over the store asking people to keep their distance. Each teller has a plastic divider so costumers don't breathe on them, and no one is accepting cash. If you don't go to the grocery store within the first hour upon opening, you will not get toilet paper. Other things like hand sanitizer, Lysol Wipes, Bleach, flour, and meat are also harder to come by unless you are first through the door.
I included this picture because more than ever I am so grateful that we have a dog. In fact, Joe keeps looking at other puppies thinking he might get me on board for one more in a weak moment! I'm not that weak! Haha! But I have felt such an appreciation for the comfort that Tucker can bring our family in such a time of uncertainty. Not just that, but fun! He makes us laugh. He plays with the kids! It gives the kids a sense of responsibility at home (we're stuck here anyway!). I think if it weren't for him, I wouldn't force myself to leave the house for a walk every day, so I know he is helping my sanity even right there in the smallest of ways. He also is the best snuggler. He will take snuggles from anyone, even Jane. Sometimes he "tolerates" her snuggles, but he snuggles nonetheless! My favourite times are at night when we are hunkering down to watch a movie and he sleeps by my legs. He has also slept next to me in bed on those lonely nights when Joe works late and isn't home when I am ready for bed.
This was the first weekend after news got out that we would be stuck at home. I was a massive downer all week about it inside my heart. Outwardly, I functioned, but inside I was dying. This was one of those days where I was dying inside but I needed to put it on a shelf and smile. We all needed to just smile and get out of our heads and it worked! It started with me giving Zoe a make-over. Then Jane. Then Ellie and Noah wanted one. Then Jackson wanted a beard. And I thought to myself, "we look amazing with nowhere to go. We need to shoot a music video." Obvious thoughts from a sane person. Haha! So, Zoe did my make-up, Ellie did Joe's and we all got dressed up and chose the song, "Take On Me." It was so fun to just be a family and forget our troubles for a day.
Jane didn't think my make-up job was enough for her, so she re-did hers.
Oh my heart.
Jackson made me think of David Gahon from Depeche Mode. A recorder-playing version! Haha! Seriously, we had so much fun that day, and Joe was such a trooper. I knew he was having a touch time, so I kind of had to force him a little. But only a little. Like I said, trooper. I love him.
Ellie wanted some rocker-chick glamour shots.
And here's the full band!
Tucker likes the taste of make-up.
And there you have it. A small taste of the first couple weeks into Covid. I haven't even talked about church. That will have to come later, because I need to get ready for it. I also haven't talked about writing my new musical ("The Gardener") and other ways I have been coping through this weird time of uncertainty. One thing I will say, we are all relying on God's mercy right now. Our health and economy? All in God's hands (after all we can do, of course. So like I said, God's hands). Never have I ever felt more reliant on His mercy. Through all this weirdness, I will say I have seen some blessings in our home. Our family is closer than ever, mostly because they have no choice but to be friends and find fun with each other in simple ways. We have all learned to slow down a bit. We all have no where to go, so we have to get creative with the time we have at home.
We definitely need that trampoline.
