Do You Want to Build a Snowman?

This weekend was my definition of the perfect winter day!  It hovered around zero.  There was no wind.  The roads were all cleared.  Not too icy.  And the snow wasn't powder so we could actually build snowmen and build forts.  Which is exactly what we did today.  Zoe doesn't have snow pants yet, so I usually wait until she goes down for a nap before sending the kids out to play, but today she was good in just sweatpants.  It was just that nice!  This was her first real experience playing out in the snow and truly exploring it.  She had enough of her mitts after a few minutes, and then realized after a while that they were probably a pretty good thing to wear if you fall down and have to catch yourself in the snow.  Joe was home this weekend too, so it was a bit of a fairy tale for about 45 minutes while we all played in the snow and built snowmen, ....until Joe threw his back out.  Haha!  Ohhhhh.... poor Joe.  We were building some pretty heavy snowmen!  Ellie wanted to make a girl snowman, which meant that Noah had to build his own because there was no way he was going to participate in making a girl.  Joe also helped Jackson build a snow fort, and Zoe spent most of her time sliding down the slide.   I had fun teaching the kids how to roll the perfectly circular snowman sections and taking pics of the kids in action.  Then afterwards we had hot chocolate and cookies.  Why can't every day be like those 45 minutes of preciousness we enjoyed?  I seriously LOVED it.  So so much.  It was like a movie (and Ellie only cried once!).  Here are some cute pics of the kids.  I want to eat Zoe's face.  And Ellie was such a sweetheart.  Actually, Jackson was quite the sweetheart as well.  After Zoe's nap, she really wanted to go back outside and play but I was getting dinner going, so I asked Jackson if he would go out with her and there was absolutely no hesitation.  What a good big brother.  He adores Zoe.  Well.  We all do.  Happy Winter Everybody!

I Have Four Kids

It is time for an update on the kids!  A few weeks ago we were staying with Grandma and Grandpa Burnham and the cool thing about their place is that they have this chair that was made by Brigham Young.  I married into a cool family full of pioneer history.  I know I have history of my own with Eleanor and Thomas Ord crossing over with the Martin Handcart Company, ...but Joe's family is not only related to Brigham Young, they are also related to Joseph Smith.  So.  That's pretty amazing to be apart of that.  And I think it makes us more righteous.  (Haha!).

I originally took this photoshoot of all the kids looking at a sign on the chair that said "#5" to be our announcement that I would have announced this week.  Miscarriages are awful, and looking at that picture makes me sad.  So, I'm not going to post it.  But I DID take individuals of my other kids which I have decided to post.  I have already come a long ways and thank God for the healing and peace I have already received.  I still get sad or sometimes things set me off and I cry.  But  I have talked to a few other people who have miscarried as well, and it has made me feel closer to people.  Or more in touch.  It has made me think outside myself.  I am healing slowly but surely.  In fact, the other day I was talking to someone about it without crying.  That is huge for me.  My throat closed up, but I didn't quite get to tears.  I know that miscarrying is a common thing among women and might I tell you right now that no matter how common it is, a woman still needs to grieve and be sad.  I am allowed to be upset and hurt.  Just because it is common does not make it less of a loss.  I will stop there before I go on some sort of tangent about what not to say to grieving women who have miscarried.  The one I've heard that hurt the most was, "at least I have four kids already." Although this sentence is true, it does not take away the sting of knowing I could have had one more that I was planning on and longing for.  And I don't think that those thoughts are selfish.

Today, I will celebrate the four that I do already have.  You are right.  I am lucky.  I have four beautiful children who challenge me and make me laugh and bring me so much joy.  Perhaps one day soon I will get to post that picture of my announcement and cry for happy reasons.

Jackson will be turning eight next month, which is huge for me.  I remember when my niece Taylor was getting baptized and thinking, "that's so far away for us."  Well.  Here we are!  We have decided that although we have been teaching our kids all we know of the gospel, it might make it more special to have the missionaries teach Jackson so he can feel extra prepared and know how important this commitment to God is.  We started today.  Jackson has such an inquisitive mind. When the Sister Missionaries asked if he had any questions, he asked, "When was Heavenly Father born?"  (one that he's asked us before that we have no answer for so he thought maybe the Sisters might know) and the other was, "What did we look like before we were created?"  This is an almost eight year old boy!  What kind of eight year old thinks about these things?  Joe.  Joe and Jackson are the same person that way.  Joe said he was exactly like that as a kid.  Deep thoughts.  Sensitive.  Joe told Jackson that he cried at his own baptism, probably to prepare Jackson so he won't feel silly if---I mean WHEN--- he cries.  Haha!  Jackson is such an old soul in general.  Last week, I was looking around the house for him thinking he was likely on the computer, and I found him on the couch reading a chapter book he picked up from the library with me the day before.  What?  Usually I have time set aside for reading (before bed or right after school), but today he chose to read on his own.  I know he loves to read, but this is definitely a new "chapter" in his life.  Although Jackson is an old soul in many ways, thank goodness he is still very much so an innocent and sweet little kid.  For example, at school they occasionally have show and tell, and instead of bringing Legos or something tough and "cool" he brought his new stuffed penguin, "Waddles."  The best is that all the kids loved it.  So the next week he brought another stuffie.  He is also such a social kid.  He is constantly bugging me to go to this or that kid's house.  I guess it also forces me to be more social and meet these kids' Moms.   Thanks for making friends for me too, Jax!


Noah lost his top tooth this week, so I am glad I captured this picture of cuteness before his adult teeth start coming in.  If you know what I looked like as a kid, you'll know what I mean.  This kid is the best.  He and Jackson have been recording songs on Garage Band lately because they always see me recording and want to make their own songs.  Essentially, they find loops they like and drag and drop.  It's cute to watch them get so excited.  Jackson usually does all the work, and Noah tells him which loops he likes best and where to put them.  I was watching them do this for about ten minutes from afar like a proud parent and Noah was dancing the WHOLE time.  The thing about Noah is he kind of has two left feet.  He was punching in the air while bouncing around.  Oh my.  He is so cute to watch.  The boys are both in a Hip Hop dance class.  It's been about two months and I sat in on their class this week.  It was so cute to watch these young boys, but especially Noah because you can tell that he is feeling every beat, but he just doesn't know when to feel it.  His teacher asked him and another boy to move to the very front of the group for their final pose and in my mind I was thinking, "he's not going to remember!  He's the youngest one in the class!"  Not to mention he was bouncing around while she asked.  It took a time or two before he got it, but he did.  What I have noticed about Noah is that he moves around a lot.  His body has to be moving, but, somehow he still manages to take in whatever he's supposed to be learning or doing.  I'm not sure what his school teacher has to say about it because parent teacher interviews aren't for another couple weeks, but his Sunday School teacher asked me about it (and she used to be a school teacher).  She says he does't disrupt the class but he seems to always be moving.  Don't I know all about that at the dinner table, or during FHE or family scripture time.  The boy can't sit still!  From the day he was born he was always jumping off stuff, so I am not too surprised.  At this stage in the game I am going to chalk it up to him being a 6 year old boy.  The sweetest, most thoughtful and cuddliest boy I know who is still obsessed with his stuffies.  All dogs.  In fact, for his Christmas list to Santa, he asked for a real dog.  When I told him that I am not going to allow Santa to give him a pet of any sort (or his own iPad or computer), he was heartbroken.  That boy loves dogs.  And he refuses to write another list, ...which leaves Santa to be a little creative this year.  He could probably just get him another stuffie and Noah would be happy with that.  Oh what a sweet and tender boy.


Ellie cracks me up. I was asking her to give me her best smile in this pic and it just got more and more awkward. Haha!  Ellie has become quite involved in drawing.  Give that girl a piece of paper and a pen and she will go to town for hours and hours.  I remember thinking that Jackson was so gifted at this age, but it seems that all of my kids have a real love for drawing.  Ellie is at that stage in her life now where she's just figuring that out about herself.  She has a registered library program that she goes to for an hour a week and they always do a craft or two, but while others kids just want to get it done so they can play with something else, Ellie will spend the majority of her time finishing up her crafts and if she manages to finish them to perfection, she will move on to drawing another picture.  Often while we are having quiet time in the afternoon, she will come to me with a handful of papers with this or that drawing and a very proud face.  Sometimes it is a mistake to draw beside Ellie because she gets really hard on herself if she doesn't know how to draw what I know how to draw, "I can't draw pants like you Mommy!"  I keep having to remind her that drawing is a process, but it seems that all of my kids have a level of perfectionism in them.  So help me!  I'm blaming that on Joe!  Along with drawing she has also discovered how to spell things phonetically, so she is constantly trying to write this or that word.  I love how much she is loving learning.  I am starting to get worried that she will think Kindergarten is boring next year because she will already know everything.  She is also deciding these days that she wants to be my little helper!  Which is great that her heart is in that direction.  But not great for me.  Oh dear!  One day she managed to spill all the macaroni powder (and not in the pot), and then she wanted to help clean up Zoe after the meal and spilled her entire tray of food on the floor.  Oh man.   Ellie knows how to turn on the sad face and let those tears spill on a dime.  She felt so bad and it took everything in me to just be patient and know that she was just trying to help, really.  Even if it meant more work for me.  So, we hugged it out and I had her get her own rag and we "both" cleaned it up.  It was a great lesson for me.  I never want to be that Mom that their kids are afraid of if they make a mistake.  I was worried that what I saw in Ellie's eyes was fear for how I would respond.  I hope my kids can remember me for being kind and gentle and good, instead of moody and quick to respond.  I honestly have been working on it all year.  I feel like I'm progressing but I'm obviously not perfect everyday.  But I digress, this is about Ellie, not me!  She is a little singer.  Constantly singing something, and these days it's usually something she made up.  My fav (which I got on video) is "I Love to See The Golden Temple."  She sings about cats and horses being there and how Zoe is so brave and how the golden temple is beautiful.  Oh man.  I could listen to her compositions everyday.


Zoe these days is just as you see her in this picture. Full of mischief!  She is the sweetest and cutest, but oh man, it seems like one day a switch got flipped and suddenly she is more mischievous (not to mention super chatty) than ever!  She's not the busy kind where she is constantly climbing on or getting into things.  She's more the short-tempered kind.  If she doesn't like what you are saying to her, she will get so frustrated that she screams in your face, or hits.  Oh man.  I have never sent that child to time out until last week, ...and it's been almost daily.  "Oh, you don't want me to throw all my food on the floor?  Well guess what, I don't care!"  But honestly, she is quick to say sorry.  I think she is getting it.  At first she liked time-out and would even sit herself down on the stairs on her own, but now she is getting to a point where time-out isn't her cup of tea anymore.  She is trying a little harder to be good.  But when her little cousins are over (Kwyncee and Annie), they can sure get into trouble, or fights.  Sometimes they are the best of friends and laugh and chase each other around, and then the next second they are hitting each other and screaming at each other.  It's pretty funny to watch if I'm being honest.  But eventually I have to get in there and break it up.  Haha!  Please don't ever bless me with twins or triplets, I don't think I could handle it!  Zoe's favourite show these days is, "Bubble Guppies."  If it's not Bubble Guppies then she is not happy.  She cannot be persuaded to watch something else (unless it's "Frozen" and I need a break from that one!).  It drives the other kids crazy, but it's funny because instead of the other kids going away to do something else, they'll all still sit and watch it with her and I know they secretly like it too.  Some, not so secretly (Jackson).  She LOVES books.  But instead of me reading an actual story to her, all she really wants to do is point at each letter on the page and tell me what it is.  Or number.  Or colour.  Or shape.  She loves learning.  I can't believe how much of a sponge she is at this stage.  I think she and Ellie are learning their alphabet at the same time.  Haha!  She also loves singing.  I ask her to sing me songs all the time and try to get them on video.  My favourite is, "I Love to See the Temple," sheerly to hear her pronunciation of "beauty."  Which is "booty."  This girl is full of spunk and energy.   She also goes to a registered class at the library and loves it!  At the beginning of each class we all sing songs and Zoe is right in there, up on her feet, singing every word and following along with the actions.  It is so cute!  I think her fav is "sleeping bunnies."  All the kids lay down on the floor and then hop up and down at the end of the song.  It is beyond adorable when you add in those bouncing curls.  And yes.  I still get comments on her hair every time I leave the house.  She really is a beaut.  Inside and out.  Even if she does have an "energetic" inner beauty.

Halloween Week

Every part of my being wanted to just buy all the kids' costumes this year and not blink. Obviously we are not yet in that kind of position.  So borrowing and using our imaginations would have to do it.  Or Kijiji.  But then Target happened.  I saw this cute little witch hat and knew that making Zoe a witch for Halloween would be a portion cuter than making her "Annie."  And maybe a little warmer for trick or treating.  So, her costume started with a hat, and from there I decided to make a little witch skirt.  I wanted to be lazy.  But thankfully I was having a not-lazy day, and threw this together.  I am happy with how it came together.  And man.  This girl is cute.  She was bored as heck while I tried to snap a few pics of her.  But then she found a pinecone.  Probably for some witches brew.  I could eat this girl.  But then she might cast a spell on me or curse me or something.

We had a Halloween Primary Party earlier this week. I used to think it was a great idea to have multiple occasions for your kids to wear their costumes so you could get more than one use out of them. But when you have four kids to get ready and your husband is out of town, it becomes a lot of work.  Plus, Jackson's face was a little involved!  He drew me a picture of exactly what he wanted me to paint on his face.  I think I did a pretty good job.  He called himself a "future man."  Can't you tell?  Noah was a vampire (a sporty vampire that night), and Ellie was a Princess-Fairy-Cat.  I bought her this cute cat mask, ...and you can't even see it in this pic since she pushed it up on to her forehead.  And it's my only pic of it because five minutes before we went trick or treating, she decided she wanted to be "Super Girl."  Why do they always do that?  Anywho, yes, it was a lot of work, but worth it.  The kids had a great time.  Lots of games and a LOT of pre-candy.  Thanks Young Women!


We also managed to carve a couple of pumpkins. I'd say two was perfect because the boys are the only ones that really care, and honestly, Joe and I are the ones who do all the cutting out. Maybe next year Jackson will be old enough.   Zoe HATED the pumpkin experience. Joe tried to encourage her to pick out some guts, but she was very concerned/disgusted. Haha!

Here are the boys right before school.  I actually really enjoy face painting because I get to be creative.  But I do not like waking up an hour before school starts to do it.  I was having an inner-dilemma with Noah's bloody face, because I know some parents are concerned about that sort of thing.  I know last year their school was strict about "scary/violent" costumes like that.  But no one said anything to me this year, so I went for it.  He's a six year old boy.  They are all about that.  He thought he looked very cool and tough so I will take it and run with it.  It's Halloween.  I felt better as I saw some of the other kids' costumes.  Noah's was mild.

Right before trick or treating was chaos.  I invited Christie, Mitchell and Kwyncee to join us and we left a half hour later than planned.  Ellie wouldn't finish her dinner.  And then she was too itchy (I had her all dressed up as her Princess Fairy cat), so Joe helped her out of her costume to let some itching commence, and THEN as I mentioned before, she wanted to change her costume completely.  And then Noah couldn't find his vampire teeth.  I bought a pack of ten.  TEN!  And not one pair could be found.  And then Zoe pooped RIGHT before we were about to leave.  I guess it's better than her waiting five minutes in and having to deal with it WHILE we were out.  But she was in so many layers because it was so COLD.  At this point I just looked at Joe and he took care of it.  Haha!  Oh man.  I was losing it.  And then we decided to drive to a neighbourhood where their houses were closer together, but a lot of people weren't home anyway (probably young families taking their kids out), so that plan backfired.  And then I realized that although I brought my camera to take pics, I left my battery at home.  Not my best Halloween experience.  And after two houses, Ellie started to complain about being cold.  Well, I thought she was layered enough so I didn't bring any extra coats.  Oh man.  It was just never ending.  So, I drove back home to pick up coats for all the kids and my battery.  Once I came back and found everyone, Ellie was done with trick or treating and was snuggled up in the stroller, and I only had time to snap a couple of really cruddy pics.  This is where I needed to force myself to laugh and say "OH WELL!"  I didn't laugh right away, but I did later.
  Although the girls were done, the boys were not.  So Joe gave me the choice of dealing with the girls and bed time OR hitting up more houses with the boys. I love trick or treating, so you can guess what I chose!  This was the part of the night I enjoyed most (aside from hearing Jackson say he'd rather have Dad take them.  Why do Moms always have such a bad rep?  Probably because of days like today!)  I decided to make it up to them and be the funnest and best Mom ever.  We passed a house that was doing a "Mad Scientist" experiment right at that time (we were lucky).  It was such a cute idea, and they collected quite a crowd too.  I loved it.  And so did the boys.  And we also passed a house with a creepy witch standing outside who gave them a choice to choose an eyeball or a treat.  The boys chose an eyeball.  Haha!  So she pulled them out of her witches brew.  I love people like this.  It honestly made the boys night.  And mine.  I don't know if I would enjoy standing outside all night, but she had a character and she owned it.  Afterwards, we went home and had hot chocolate to warm us up a bit.  As if we didn't have enough sugar.  Haha!  As much as I love trick or treating with the kids, I also really enjoy handing out candy to all the little kids and seeing their costumes.  Okay, so maybe I don't love getting up and down all night long, but I love seeing all the costumes.  I only got to see one group of kids!  Sad.  Joe and I wanted to end the night with a scary movie, but I am such a wuss.  I could not choose anything!!!  So we went with "Contagion," which just made me paranoid about germs.  Thanks.

Well.  Happy Halloween.  Next year I am going with easy and warm costumes.  No more of this creative nonsense that just ends up getting covered up.  They just end up changing their mind anyway!!!  When will I learn?