Trunk-or-Treat

I always thought they held Trunk-or-Treating if Halloween fell on a Sunday, but our Ward has been doing them every year that we've been living here.  I actually like Trunk-or-Treating with our family.  It's usually on the Saturday before Halloween so I have all day to figure out costumes and do make-up, rather than at 6:30 in the morning before school getting make-up done and all that, and THEN having to fix up or redo it all when they get home from school!  Haha!  Good thing we had all day to figure it out because the girls changed their minds about a million times that day.  Ellie had settled on being Wonder Woman again and Zoe wanted to be a cracked doll.  This was her millionth idea of the week.  We have gone through being Cinderella, Snow White, the devil, a bear, Wonder Woman, a witch, a unicorn... I don't even remember the rest.  I just know it changed every day.  She just wanted to match whatever her friend Paisley Johnson was wearing.  Haha!  So I started applying Princess-like make-up before "cracking" her face, and she felt so pretty that she decided she didn't want to be cracked after all.  And then I had Ellie's costume all laid out, but when I called her up to do her make up, she was wearing a completely different costume.  Mine.  She makes a cuter looking witch anyway.  I asked her if she wanted to be a cute witch or a scary/ugly witch.  I'm sure you can guess what she chose.   I just wish I had a back-up plan, but I ended up being a boring ol' Mom.  No time for last minute changes.  Oh well.  We had a fun night and the weather held out, which always makes a difference!

Ellie the "cute" witch

...with a sassy face.

Zoe landed on Cinderella.  Adorable.  She was in love with what the mascara did to her eyelashes!

Jane went as Ariel, the Little Mermaid; The only movie other than "Haweenin" (Nightmare Before Christmas) she will watch for a period of time, and all as of this week.  Jane has been obsessed with mermaids even before she knew who Ariel was.  She has some tiny mermaid dolls that she likes to play with in the tub and requests a bath every day!  When I went to put the mermaid tail on her she started crying and screaming, "TOO BIG!  TOO BIG!" even though she is clearly in love with this costume.  She struts around the house in it all the time.  I think she was just being grumpy for fun.  OR has possibly fallen down in it far too often.  So.  I hiked it right on up, and that solved those tears!

A group girlie picture.

I tried to get a picture of just Ellie and Zoe because they could pass for Elpheba and Galinda from the musical "Wicked."  In my heart, that's who they were, but they have no clue who those characters are!  Haha!  So, I've got some culturing to do.  Jane would not be left out and got right back in the frame.  Haha!

My Elpheba and Galinda.

Jackson got creative this year.  He told me he was going to dress up as the scariest thing ever!  "Anxiety!"  Haha!  I don't know what 11-year-old thinks of these things, but mine does.  And he looks like the creepiest anxiety I've ever seen.

Noah had a basketball game later in the day, so Joe took him and then hurried back home so he wouldn't miss anything!  He went as "Slenderman."  At first I thought that it was a Fortnite character because he is obsessed with that game.  But then as I was looking up images for his costume to see how we would put it together, I was immediately freaked out!  This character is actually from some horror movie that I could never watch, ever!  So I asked Noah how he knew about Slenderman, and apparently he IS a video game character.  Just not Fortnite.  Although, that doesn't really make me feel better.  But in the Spirit of Halloween and creepy costumes, I obliged!

I basically just took whatever decorations I had on my porch and brought them to decorate my trunk.  My favourite trunk was decorated like the house from the movie, "UP!"  Balloons and everything.  I wish I had taken a picture!  Instead, you get my trunk.  Complete with a Happy Halloween poster the kids made!  I think it looks pretty darn great!  Happy ALMOST Halloween!  

 (L-R: Cru Taylor, Zoe, Maci Hill, Paisley Johnson, Emery Gilchrist)

Pumpkin King!

 It's funny how I think that family activities are always going to be flawlessly run because they are "fun" activities.  But I am always wrong.  There should be no room for whining or crying or complaining, but somehow there always is.  Even though it's fun!  Why is this a surprise to me every time?  I need to learn some lessons I guess.  I mean, we have fun moments, but things like this are just turning into downright stressful activities.  The planning and prep, the follow-through, the clean up.  All stress.  But all in the name of "FUN!"  Haha!  Honestly, carving pumpkins did turn out to be fun, I think it's just crowd control sometimes.  "Jane's got a knife!"  "No more tears, Zoe.  If you would just finish your dinner then you could start on your pumpkin!" "Jane!  Put the knife down!"  "Sorry, this is the pumpkin you get.  Everyone else claimed theirs because they finished their dinner first."  "Get that knife out of Jane's hands!"  So basically, it sounds like it's just Jane and Zoe.  Haha!  We got through it though and dang it, we made sure every one had fun whether they liked it or not.  We pumped some "Nightmare Before Christmas" and that seemed to solve any feelings of frustration or sadness.  At least for me.  I think everyone's pumpkins turned out pretty awesome.  And no fingers were lost.

This one is Zoe's, the one she didn't want.  I had to convince her that the bumps on her pumpkin were cool because they could be made into warts.  I think her pumpkin turned out to be my favourite of them all and I think she felt the same way too.  Eventually.

Jane wanted none other than Jack the Pumpkin King.  Surprise!  She only requests to watch that movie every five minutes, so Jack the Pumpkin King is what Jane gets.  The morbid pumpkin behind Jack is Ellie's.  Haha!  Should I be concerned?

Piano Lessons

I have three kids in piano this year!  THREE!  It was going to be four, but one lesson with Zoe and I was like, "NEXT YEAR!"  Jackson and Noah have been taking piano from Lynnise Osberg, my good friend, for a couple years now.  She is awesome.  Like above and beyond.  But with moving to a new house and with girls saying, "I want to take ballet!" sometimes you gotta move some things around to make them work.  So.  IIIIIII am teaching my kids piano this year.  My Mom was my piano teacher and I think I turned out all right as a pianist.  However, my Mom is like a grade 10 level player.  She can literally play anything.  If someone were to ask her a question on theory (which I already have because I didn't know!), she would know the answer.  These are things that have been worrying me because I am NOT a level 10 pianist.  I am probably barely a three or MAYBE four if I work really hard.  I bought the Level Six Royal Conservatory books for me to practice with and I'm not sure that I am quite there.  I can eventually figure them out, but I can't really sight read.  Jackson is completing level two and I just bought him some Royal Conservatory level three books.  I was flipping through the songs the other day and wanted to cry.  Jackson will be outplaying me by the end of the year for sure!  So.  Then I got the idea that maybe if I am taking piano lessons, I could always stay a step ahead of him in the hope that I could continue on teaching.  We shall see how that goes.  I have had my worries about keeping up and having time to actually practice, but I think if I want it enough, I will.  I love playing piano and have always dreamed of being able to sight read, so I am hoping this will work out for me.  This is Ellie's first year and she LOVES it.  Can't get enough of it.... until last week when she said, "why do we have to play piano!"  I am going to blame that on her being tired.  Haha!  I'm sure it will be the first of many complaints!  We started lessons at the beginning of the Summer and so far I think it's going well.  The kids have all been really good with practicing for the most part.  It's just a matter of keeping up with it and making sure they continue on.  Or maybe giving them a little incentive.  All in all, I think this is good for us and it's really forcing me to be on top of it.  And at least I don't have to drive out into the snowy night to drop them off and pick them up.  I can do it all here!  So far so good.  For now!  Until Jane wants to sit on my lap.  Then it starts getting tricky!  Oy....

My Ghost Child

Noah is truly my ghost-child.  He is quiet and likes to stay hidden and doesn't really make much of a fuss over anything.  I remember a couple years back he had a big speaking part at his school Christmas concert and didn't say a word about it to me. I just found out when I got there.  Haha!  Last week at church Noah was called up to the front in Primary and presented with this giant cookie because he memorized and passed off all the Articles of Faith.  What?  When did this happen?  This is a challenge they are doing with all the kids in Primary.  Jackson passed his off a couple months ago, and I got Noah started on it at the beginning of the year, but I didn't realize that he had kept going with it and had actually completed them all ALREADY!  He didn't ask for any help.  I never saw him pass them off.  I legit was surprised when they called him up there.  Sometimes I think I underestimate this boy.  He is so capable and he 100% did this on his own!!  So proud of you Noah!  That cookie is all yours.  Every last bite!

Music and Advil

How cute is this?  Well it made my day anyway.  This is from a girl in my ward who was also apart of the "Born To Be a King" music video.  What was supposed to be a small little project has turned into something WAY huge.  Often times I find myself kind of alone when it comes to my little projects, because they are my babies.  Not anyone else's.  So, they just become something small I do in my spare time for fun.  But this project included so many people that I am feeling all the feels at how much support I am getting.  It feels good.  It feels like I am contributing to society.  Haha!  But, I would be lying if I didn't say I was really tired!  Being a Mom and trying to do what I love often has its way of pulling me this way and that and I keep thinking I can squeeze it all in to my one little life.  I've been having head aches every day for a bout a month now, which makes me not like the way my body handles stress.  OY!  In fact just yesterday I had a weird moment where it felt like someone took hold of the inside of my head and started pushing it together.  It wasn't painful, but it felt really intense and I wonder if it is stress-related.  I was just glad I wasn't driving, because it really took over for a solid five or so seconds.  My first paranoid thought is a brain-tumour, so I am going to see my doctor tomorrow (Don't laugh at me!  I have to cross it off the list!).  My other realistic thought is, maybe I am overdoing it.  But I know no other way.  Last year after doing my workshop for "Feather Pen Fairy Tales" I told myself I was going to sit in front of a TV for three weeks and do NOTHING!  That lasted two days.  I can't sit still.  It's not in me.  I think where I'm at right now is that I don't really have a focus on what I'm doing.  I'm just going project by project with no real plans for how I want to spend the next two or three years.  And they are all very different projects.  I've been working a little more on my personal pop career and am back in the studio recording a couple more songs (65 Years and So Far Away), and then I just released the sheet music and track for "Born To Be a King" and the video comes out next week, and then mid-Nov I am releasing the "Figure You Out" music video that we shot back in August.  On paper, I sound really busy.  Probably because I am!  Haha!  I think the hardest part about being this busy is that I haven't touched my musicals since May.  That's a long time for me.  It's hard to schedule it in when I am doing so many other things.  I wish I had energy for it all.  Or a personal secretary to help me stay on task.  Let's add a maid to that.  I could get so much more done if I didn't have to bother with laundry.  Haha!  But I think what's getting hard is the longer I wait to return to writing my musicals, the harder it is to start.  The musicals in and of themselves are SO much work that it needs to be the ONLY thing I am doing.  I keep waiting for my life to slow down and it's not.  So.  I'm going to need to start making choices here I think.  Because I am getting the feeling that my life isn't going to slow down any time soon.  I feel like once I start releasing music to the public, there are going to be expectations and demands of me, and honestly, I have enough of those already at home.  It's called five kids and a husband!  Haha!  Right now, I am just taking it one day at a time and trying not to overthink anything, but that's a lot easier said than done.  Here's to hoping my trip to the doc's office is nothing!  Ack!  Joe's guess is that I am addicted to Advil.  He is probably right.  But he also encouraged me to rule it out and see that doctor anyway.  Good hubs.

Welcome Home Jackson

I've learned some things about myself this week.  I've learned that all of our children will never leave this house when they grow up.  Because I won't let them.  Jackson had his grade six camp this week and he was away for three and a half days.  I have already written about this twice, this being my third time, because this is such a big deal for me!  I missed him so much.  It was not the same in our house and I was sick with worry whilest also trying to be strong and not-paranoid!  It gave me the tiniest of glimpses of how it might be when he leaves on a mission.  And when he comes home.  It felt like Christmas morning for me waiting for his bus to finally arrive at the school.  When all of the kids spilled out and I saw his purple toque, I am pretty sure I started pushing little eleven year olds out of my way!  Haha!  The joy on my face was evident, but seeing the joy on his face in seeing me in return melted my Mommy-heart.  Holy smokes.  I think I miiiight have even noticed a slight glisten in his eyes, which I easily returned.  He told me he wanted to call me several times (but you could only call home if you really needed to, and I think he was trying to be strong), and that he especially missed home when things would settle down at night.  I could not stop hugging him, and since his bus came an hour before school let out for the rest of the kids, I took him to DQ just me and him so he could tell me all about his week (and left Jane at home with Joe.  Yes I did).  I could tell he had a super fun time.  I knew he would.  But I could also tell that he was happy to be back.  Back in his comfortable home.  Although, I'm not sure how long that lasted.  Haha!  Him leaving for a mission is just around the corner.  He turns 12 in a couple months.  And before I know it I will blink and miss his entire teenaged life and he will be gone.  These are the things I fret about!  Lately he's been so social.  Friends are such a huge part of his life now.  That and basketball.  Weekdays are chewed up by school, practice and homework, then the weekends are basketball games and hanging out with friends.  This weekend I said no to friends because we have not been a family all week, so we had a big family pizza/movie party, which are always my favourite.  But even then, the boys are starting to get too old to enjoy the same movies that the younger girls like.  Lately we've been breaking up movie night so the girls can watch what they want and the boys can watch what they want.  But that's not really "family time" if you ask me.  However, one tradition that we just started a few weeks ago was Sunday Musicals Family time.  There will be no exceptions to who will watch what when.  Every one has to watch a classic musical, and we watch it together as a family.  It started with the conversation, "our kids don't even know the classics Joe!"  And then Joe and I decided to change that.  So far we have cultured them with "Seven Brides For Seven Brothers," "The Wizard of Oz," and today was "The Sound of Music."  Next week will be the second half of The Sound of Music.  Haha!   Welcome home Jax.

Just Me and Jane

 Back to School means that every day is just me and Jane.  It's been very quiet.  And very ...boring?  I usually try to plan my days where I make sure I'm a "fun Mom" in the morning for her and then when she is napping in the afternoon, it's Mommy-time.  Sometimes this means going to library together, going on walks, playing outside, going to the store together, playing at Parent-Link, or colouring at the table---which she still hasn't gotten into.  Not my child.  It took me a while to adjust to this slow and quiet home during the day, but I kind of love it.  I went from doing everything-family-fun-chaos to the quietest house in the world.  I feel like the opportunity for that one-on-one time to happen can so easily get lost in the shuffle, so to make it happen every day is so nice.  It means I am getting to know Jane and we are bonding.  She's my little bud.  And she's starting to get old enough where it's not so hard to leave the house with her.  Meaning, I don't have to pack up our lives to go to the store.  Sometimes there are days that are easier, like today, to sit her in front of a TV (she's sick with Zoe's right now, so it's allowed).  But I am really enjoying my "boring" time with her.  A couple days ago, we were at Parent Link (basically a glorified nursery where parents don't get to leave) and I noticed she sticks her tongue out to the side when she is concentrating.  It was so adorable to notice that about her.  And she's so smart.  I mean, she will try things over and over until she gets it right.  Like puzzle pieces, or building a tower.  I love watching her grow.  It reminds me of when Jackson was little like this, and I had all the time in the world to spend with just him.  But when you have three kids all three and under, that makes it pretty tricky to have that special time.  Sorry Noah, Ellie, and Zoe.  Makes me a little sad that not every child got what Jackson and Jane are getting.  But.  The ones in the middle got each other, which is way more fun than me!  Hopefully they see that.  Zoe will be in Grade Four before Jane starts Kindergarten.  There is such a divide between them.  Jane will always have a different experience than the others.  I mean, I did this sort of thing with ALL of the kids too---left the house to have fun, etc, but I usually always had a baby in tow.  This is so different for me.  It's kind of great actually.  Me and my little bud.  What am I going to do in three years?  (...probably throw a party.  And then cry.  Write some hit musicals.  Cry some more.  Release another album or two.  More crying, etc).

 

The tongue. 

 

Stepping Up

So Jackson has been at Grade 6 Camp all week.  And by all week, I mean three and a half very long days!  He gets home today and it feels like Christmas morning.  Only four hours to go!  Ellie cried the first night he was away and Jane thinks he's still at school.  I have been praying for him every morning and night and in my heart throughout the day.  Be safe, be smart, be warm.  Be safe, be smart, be warm.  When we sit at the dinner table, we feel the void.  Jackson has been missed.  But I'm not sure that he has been missed by all.  I asked Noah after his first night of sleeping alone how he felt about that.  He said it was awesome.  Haha!  I've also noticed him up his game as man of the house (Joe has also been gone for three and a half days, so Noah's the only man).  Jackson is usually my first to help, the first to get chores done, the first to observe and be helpful.  I felt like Noah really stepped up to the plate this week.  It kind of makes me wonder how he would have been as the oldest child.  If I give Noah more responsibility, will he be able to handle it?  I think after observing him this week, the answer is yes.  He even babysat for me so I could run to Costco one night.  All the girls were asleep, so it was really only him.  I thought he would be too scared in our quiet house (I left the choice up to him), but I think he wanted to show me that he was capable and that he could.  And he did.  Also, I'm pretty sure he just wanted to play Fortnight in a quiet house, uninterrupted.

Almost Sharing a Room

 Jane wants to sleep with the girls so bad.  Right now Ellie and Zoe share a room and Jane is in her own room.  There's a reason for that.  Ellie and Zoe's room is filled to the brim with all their toys and books.  It's basically the bonus room with beds in it.  It's a little girl's wonderland.  And Jane's room is void of anything that would hold her interest.  This is in the hopes that she will not be distracted and will stay in bed and sleep.  But as we have gone through with every child, no matter what you take out of their room, they will find something else to get into.  Usually it's their folded clothes.  So, I leave a few books these days.  She's actually pretty good at staying in bed now, but it sure took a while.  She doesn't make anything easy for me usually.  Anywho.  The plan is to eventually move Jane in with the girls, as you see in this picture.  But she is a determined little toot who thinks she is above consequences.  Usually when Joe and I see Jane making a determined effort to just do what she's going to do we quote her from one of the hikes we took this Summer, "I'M CLIMB A MOUNTAIN!"  That sums her up perfectly.  Last night was my third attempt at having them share a room.  It lasted five minutes.  Same with the night before that.  And the night before that.  She will usually get out once to go potty or "a stinky is coming!"  So.  I HAVE to listen to her and let her sit on the toilet, but usually she is lying about it.  And the second time is usually because she needs a drink.  But the third time?  The third time means I am putting her straight back into her old room by herself.  She gets so mad at me.  I am hoping she will start learning that if she wants to share a room with the big girls, she has to stay in bed.  But, I'M CLIMB A MOUNTAIN!

She gets so mad that she usually turns on the light to spite me and won't stay in her bed.  So.  The past few nights before I head to bed I've found her like this.  I'M CLIMB A MOUNTAIN!  The bum.

Figure You Out Music Video

 I've been working with Craig Carswell at Red Black Studio since February on a song I wrote a bazillion years ago called, "Figure You Out."  I wrote it before I was married.  So.  A bazzilion years, like I said.  I was dating a boy named Scott and we were getting really serious, but there were times where he didn't really seem "in it" and I just could not figure it out.  Needless to say, we broke up and I married Joe.  He's pretty easy to figure out because he flat out loves me.  And I know myself, so this is saying a lot about him!  Anywho.  So that song sat on the shelf for quite some time, but I've always loved it so I figured it was time to record it properly.  And properly we did!  But we didn't stop there.  Craig has a friend named Maxwell Mawji who is a videographer/photographer who wanted to shoot a music video for us.  For free.  So.  That's cool!  The guys that played on the track were down as well!  Corey Mifflin on bass, Taylor McPhail on lead guitar, Luke Thompson on drums, and I invited Craig to be in the shoot because he played such a huge part in making this song happen---in the form of free studio time!  Thank you Craig!  I am so happy with the track!

I have yet to see the video, but I thought I would share some pics from the day (August 11th).  Joe took the kids camping at Hogg Park (bless that man!) so I would have the house to myself to relax and prepare.  He also probably just knew I'd be a mess and decided to steer clear.  Haha!   Sooooo Alysha Sladek came over and we had a sleep over!!!  Yay!  She also helped me make some wardrobe decisions.  Somehow, I cannot make those confidently on my own.  Glad I have her in my life!  She also put on my face---I did not sleep, so she really worked some magic there!  She's my stylist/best-friend extraordinaire!  Things like this stress me out sometimes.  Even though it's supposed to be fun, it can be stressful.  I think the biggest stress is that I haven't done a music video since I was in my twenties (aside from the live videos I did last Spring).  And.  Well.  I'm in my late-thirties and it shows.  The only attitude I could have that allowed me to be confident was that it's okay to be in my late-thirties.  It's okay that I look like I have a body that carried five babies.  It's okay that I have gained ten pounds since last year (I like chocolate and I will not apologize for it!).  Let's be confident and fake the heck out of this day!  So, I pretended like I was meant to be in front of a camera.  And I pretended like I deserved to be treated like a star all day.

I also pretended that I could walk in Alysha's four inch high heels!  Okay, they are probably only three inches.  But those heels were toothpicks!

We had three different locations throughout the shoot, and this was our first one.  We were supposed to be "cowboy" themed, so I did my best without going overboard-cowboy.  I mean.  I brought plaid, but then all the guys were wearing plaid.  So, I decided to dress like a girl instead.  The second we started shooting, the wind totally picked up.  I had my very own personal fan to make me look nice and sexy-like.  Problem is, I don't think it did that for me at all! Haha!  In fact, I'm pretty sure all it did was make my poofy peasant sleeves look even poofier.  If that's possible.   

Our next location was inside the haunted house.  It was actually really cool-looking inside.  Definitely filled to the brim with ghosts, though.  Here we are singing Happy Birthday to Luke's niece.  This was the whole gang that was here (aside from Alysha, who is the one who took all these pictures, as per usual!  Thank you Alysha!).  We got to dress more rock-and-roll-edgy-cowboy.  I basically followed Maxwell through the house singing into the camera and in each room was a different band-mate.  This was my favourite part.  Probably because I got to rock some high-waisted Mom-jeans.  They probably look cooler on a sixteen year old, but they're called Mom-jeans, aren't they?!  So, I worked it.

The third location was in a barn.  The skirt probably needs to be two inches shorter to make sense with the cowboy boots, but oh well.  My pretending was almost over.  While things were getting set up for the barn scene, Alysha grabbed a few shots of me in front of this gorgeous haunted house.

This is where I was most uncomfortable but tried to pretend I wasn't.  I was supposed to be freaking out and screaming (which would later be set to slow-motion).  Throwing things.  Kicking things.  Having a break down.  With no music.  Just me in a barn and a camera in my face.  I hope some of it turned out because I sure as heck made myself very vulnerable in there.  It was elating.  But, also embarrassing if anyone but Maxwell saw this footage unedited.  Fun fact: this is where they filmed the Revenant with Leonardo Dicaprio.  So there were a bunch of set pieces and movie props stored in there.  I threw some.

When I said the barn scene was my most uncomfortable, I lied.  Getting to my car was most uncomfortable.  It started with one horse approaching me.  Then two.  Then about fifty.  Oh my heck.  I about peed my pants.  I like horses.  They are majestic and beautiful.  And I will pet one or two.  With a fence between us.  But I do NOT feel in control!  That's for dang sure.  So, having no fence to protect me was a little scary.  But also cool, because I didn't die.

 Maxwell did some shots with the band before it was all over.  L-R: Craig, Luke, Me, Taylor, Corey.

I was awkward as heck!

I went with it because it felt very Cranberries-ish.  Minus not having a couch.  And minus I have two extra bandmates.  

Glad I can sleep now.  Looking forward to seeing the video at it's finished state!  I've been feeling really blessed lately that all these people want to help and support me in my music.  I've been a Mom full-time for so long that I have forgotten how much I love this stuff.  If I could shoot a music video every weekend, I would.  This is where I thrive.  This is where I feel confident.  Even if I have to pretend a little bit!