Born To Be a King

Earlier this Summer the church put out a big announcement that they would be accepting song submissions for the Hymn book and for the Children's Songbook.  I am the primary chorister right now in my ward, so immediately I knew I wanted to write a song for those kids.  Or many.  I planned to submit something, but if anything, at least I would have a song for my Primary kids to sing!  The deadline is in the Summer of 2019 so I have lots of time, but I couldn't help myself and got to work right away.  I wrote about three blah-songs before I wrote "Born To Be a King."  I knew the church was looking for more songs that could be sung world-wide and that weren't so "American" so to speak, so I did lots of praying.  And honestly?  What is more unifying in our Faith (or any Christian faith) than the birth of Christ?  That was it.  I was going to write a Christmas song.

So, once I figured that part out, I was on an evening walk and had just finished my audiobook so I started listening to the most recent General Conference (which I realize typing it out loud like this makes me sound like a major grandma).  There was nothing specific about the talk that inspired me, but oh man, every three seconds was a new idea to build upon my last idea.  I think it was just Heavenly Father blessing me for making time for quiet.  He was pouring out ideas upon me.  It was all I could do to rush home and put it all together!  Thankfully I had my phone so I could record myself singing as I rushed back (and I'm sure I looked sane).  When I got home, I went straight to my piano and plunked it all out.  The tune was there immediately, but lyrics have never been my strong suit.  So, it took a few days but I finally got it.  At first it felt too simple.  Simple enough for a Primary song though?  And then I thought, I've always loved those primary songs that have a descant or second part to mash together.  So.  I wrote one.  Except I didn't know if this song with the descant now would be too hard for Primary children to learn.  So I made my kids learn it.  And just like anything new, it was hard.  Actually, Ellie and Jackson picked it up really fast, but Zoe and Noah took a little longer.  This wasn't enough for me.  So, I thought to myself, I should have the kids learn it in primary.  So, I got Bishop's permission.  And then I thought, I should make a music video.  And sometimes those crazy thoughts of mine turn into a reality.  And here I sit planning a music video to be shot next weekend!  Haha!  Last weekend we recorded all of the children's parts and I just received the finished product a couple days ago.  And like an Ord, I cried.  I can't believe this is actually happening.  I love when thoughts turn to action and things just come together!  Actually, this wasn't just something coming together.  This has been quite a few people volunteering their time.  Quite a few people saying "yes."  Quite a few people cheering me on and supporting me.  Eugenio Hipolito is one of those people.  He's the videographer and also quite the cheerleader.  He's the one who said, "hey, we should record this song legit.  Let me call my friend Grant at Audio House Recordings."  And then Grant, who isn't even of our faith donated his time when he heard this was a church thing!  We spent three hours in his studio space recording each soloist and the chorus parts.  It was so fun for me.  I mean, I was totally stressed leading up to it, but so happy to hear it all come together.  Grant did a wonderful job.  Then I have people helping me with decorations, costumes, props, set pieces, and then of course, parents lending out over 50 children to be in the video, ironed Sunday clothes and all!  Not just that, but taking them to our rehearsals and making sure they are listening to the song at home so they are prepared.  It kind of feels like my Stake Cultural Arts Director calling.  Haha!  Perhaps my calling has been preparing me for this video!  People letting me down, BUT, then people saying yes and committing.  I think we are pretty much set.

Now I just need to breathe.

And pray for nice weather.

I am writing this today, because today is the day that I finally submitted my first song to the church.  I wanted to make sure it was really ready, and after hearing the final cut of the song I knew it was finished.  It is one thing to gather children from your Stake and listen to them sing the words of your testimony back to you.  Imagine what it would feel like knowing your song and testimony was being sung all over the world?  I did not write this song for money or gain.  I wrote it to share my testimony of the Saviour.  I wrote it so that my children would know that I know that that little baby was indeed the Christ child.  He was born to be our King.

Here are a few pictures from the studio (courtesy of Alysha Sladek).  Zoe and Ellie sang the first two solos.  Then I auditioned the rest.  I would have just had my boys sing the other solos, but they didn't really show much interest so I just had them sing in the chorus.  Which is funny because after this experience they wish they HAD shown more interest!  My next soloists were Elliot Dupont, Aubrey Hardy, Nicholas Pomares and Scarlett Butler.  Added to the chorus were my boys, Roxcy Bowie, Scarlett Asplund, Hailey McCance, and Claire Whitton.

Zoe kept sitting on my lap and giving me kisses in that nice hot and steamy room.

We recorded some of the chorus singers separately and Jackson was one of them.

I got to get in there as well to direct the children.  They did such a great job!

Anxious

In January, Noah was officially diagnosed with ADD, and since then we have taken action to get him on appropriate meds.  At first it was like night and day seeing Noah interact and SPEAK!  The boy speaks!  In fact, his teacher at school told me when he started the meds back in Jan/Feb that she couldn't get him to stop talking!  Haha!  She was so happy for him.  He was interacting with peers.  He was listening in school.  His grades were getting better.  You have to know that Noah would rarely ever carry on conversations, let alone start them!  And he can go on for quite a while now.  Now he can sit and do homework in ten minutes instead of an hour.  Now he can focus and practice piano without melting down.  It is a wonderful thing to see his behaviour change for the good.

But.

But we have been seeing side-effects with his meds; Trying to figure out the "right" dose and measure if the side-effects are worth it.  There was even a time during this past Summer where I wondered what these meds were even doing to help him, so we took him off.  And THEN we'd remember that yes, this boy needs these meds.  But on them, he has no appetite.  He has a hard time falling asleep.  He has only had a couple rage spells, but he is certainly still emotional and gets quickly agitated.  This is not totally new, but it seems heightened somehow by the meds.  After Noah learned about puberty in school last Spring, he began to blame that.  Haha!  Noah has always been an emotional kid.  Very worried about leaving my side.  Or anyone for that matter.  "Ellie!  She's too far ahead!!!  Ellie get back here!"  And this was when he was four.  I left for choir practice last week and came home to Noah sleeping at the top of the stairs waiting for me to come home, because Joe was out of town so Jackson was babysitting.  But Jackson was asleep.  And Noah?  He got too scared since everyone was already sleeping to come downstairs and call me, so he just waited at the top of the stairs.  In fact, every night Noah asks me where I will be before he goes to bed.  He wants to know that I'm not far.  He wants to feel safe.  He is worried about things he can't change or that have already happened.  FIVE YEARS AGO, Zoe was one and she tottered right into a pond right before family pictures, which is a funny story to tell now, but not-so-funny then.  Well, Noah remembers that.  AND he worries about, "what if you didn't get her out in time and she died?"

Anxiety.

Noah worries and worries and worries.  Noah's doctor has referred him to a specialist who sent us some forms to fill out.  One for parents and one for the child (also some for his current teacher).  I filled it out as best I could tonight thinking, "maybe Noah is just fine.  He can't possibly be feeling all these things to the worst extent."  But I was wrong.  Because then Noah filled out HIS form.  That boy has anxiety.  I wanted to cry a few times while reading out the question and then seeing his response because I was so surprised at how he was really feeling inside.  I legit had to breathe through the choking in my heart.  How do I not know this about my own son?  I mean, I knew he was pretty anxious and worried about this and that.  But according to his form?  This boy is suffering.  And I had no idea.  And it hurts like crap.  It hurts to know he is suffering and going through things that he won't tell me.  This kid keeps so much inside.  This is a scary new path that I am sad to start on, but I am so glad there is help out there and that we are figuring it out.  One step at a time.  With probably lots of crying.

a-BOOM!

There's something nice about order.  Now that the kids are back in school, I feel like our FHE nights actually... happen!  Summer was so bad for FHE and family scriptures and prayer.  This week felt pretty good getting back on track.  We've gotten back into reading family scriptures again, and for FHE we played Zoe's favourite card game, UNO, where Jane learned how to burn everyone by shouting, "a-BOOM!" while slamming down a card.  Yes.  Jane is learning wonderful and powerful thing at FHE.  The best part is, she wasn't even apart of the game.  Just observing her Mom killing it!  NO MERCY!

Okay, I totally lost.

But it was fun.  I think playing card games and board games with my kids is one of my favourite things to do as a family.  And now with the boys getting older, we can play even more complex games which gets even more fun.  I heart my fam.

My Committed Ballerinas

These little ballerinas started their dance class this week.  Well, except Jane.  In fact, she was ticked when she realized she didn't get to join Ellie and Zoe and all the big kids in the classroom.  Tears and screaming all the way back out to the car.  Haha!  Ellie took ballet for a year when she was four.  And it looked pretty darn boring if you ask me!  Haha!  So, I was surprised when she asked me if she could take ballet again.  Hmm.  I looked into it---like a good Mom---and tried to find ways to sway this girl another direction---like a good Mom---but she would not be swayed.  So, I found a class for both Ellie and Zoe to attend at the same time!!  Yay!  Anything that can limit the amount of places I have to take my kids in a week is a straight up bonus!  And no.  I sure didn't ask Zoe if she wanted to take ballet.  She is usually pretty happy and content with just about anything, so I figured I was safe.  Well.  After their first class I asked the girls what they thought.  Ellie loved it.  LOVED.  Even though she felt her teacher was a little "judge-y."  Haha!  "Ellie, what do you mean by that?"  "Well, every little thing she would try to fix."  This might be a long year.  And then there was Zoe.  Just bored out of her mind!  That poor teacher.  Zoe was looking all around the room, fidgeting, basically all the signs of a child who is done.  Haha!  Aaaaand I've signed them up for a YEAR!  So.  Here's to hoping that Zoe will have a change of heart, and that Ellie will get used to being judged, because like it our not, they are committed.  

Potty Prayers

 Jane over a month ago.

About a month or so ago, I was at Wal-Mart and saw a package of Peppa Pig underwear on the rack.  And if you didn't know (which would be an incredible shock), Jane is OBSESSED with Peppa Pig!  I brought them home knowing that she was showing signs of being ready to be potty-trained, but not quite there.  Maybe Peppa would help?  Jane is always taking off her diaper.  She hides when she has to go poop.  She even TELLS me first that she has to poop, and then hides.  She sees that Mommy is a big girl who goes potty on the toilet.  BUT, she has one big hang-up.

She is terrified of the toilet.

I know this song and dance and was NOT going to waste my time and sanity prematurely trying to potty train this girl!  Honestly, she's only two and a half.  Still so young.  So, those undies went straight in her closet.  Every once in a while I would let her try them on to get her thinking about it, but when I said she had to sit on the potty if she wanted to wear them all day, she would promptly give them right back.

Well, I don't know what happened today.  I wasn't really planning on this.  I thought it would be another day of her wearing undies for her five minutes of glory and then she'd trade them back in for her diaper.  This morning when I went to get her from her bed, her diaper was off as per usual.  Now, the wonderful thing about this is that she has never peed or pooped once her diaper is off, so this shows me she knows how to hold it.  Another great sign.  I was about to put on a fresh diaper when she asked for her Peppa undies.  I humoured her.  I told her the same thing I have told her every time.  "If you want to wear these, you have to be able to sit on the toilet."  What I wasn't prepared for was, "Okay, Mom."

Liar.

I put them on her anyway.  Why not see how long this could last?  I can clean up some pee if I need to.  After about an hour of her refusing to sit on the toilet, as I predicted, I was about to throw in the towel and get a diaper for her.  I legit said a prayer out loud right there.  A dumb-Mommy prayer.  The kind where you feel like it doesn't REALLY matter if she is potty trained today or tomorrow, but just let me cool down!  Then all of the sudden, Jane stopped screaming and said, "I go potty Mom" and we ran to the toilet together.  She took my hand and sat down on the toilet with no fear.  What?  It was like a switch went off and she decided that she was a big girl and there was no sense in being scared.  Mommy was there to hold her hand.  Oh my.  You know when you read about how you're supposed to act as a Mother after your child pees in the toilet that first day?  "Act over-the-moon happy!  Celebrate!  Give them a treat!  Go above and beyond crazy excited for them.  Call Daddy at work!"  Well, I did.  And I legitimately did and felt all those things!  No faking here!

My girl can tinkle in the toilet now.  And she let me know about thirty times today!  Haha!  She is almost just as obsessed with the toilet as she is with Peppa Pig now.  Even her Barbie went "potty" on the toilet (Jane was the Mom).  It has been a sweaty day thus far, but I have been too busy being happy that Jane is no longer afraid of the toilet.  I probably shouldn't celebrate just yet because she hasn't pooped yet today, BUT she had dry undies/bed after her nap today.  So yay!  I'm sure I'll have a bit of laundry over the next few days, but thus far no accidents which is a fantastic start.  I didn't think I would ever say this but I guess I can take that massive box of diapers I just bought last night back to Costco because this lady now has a diaper-free home!

First time sitting on the potty!!!!

She got a marshmallow for that and has been so excited about going potty on the toilet that she has completely forgotten about the whole marshmallow thing and just goes now out of pure joy and pleasure.  This is also when I realized I should prob take this seriously now and filled up cups and cups and cups of juice for her to go through.  Hence the thirty bathroom trips.

Barbie's turn.

I'm glad I raised up that dumb-Mommy prayer.  Someone was listening, because seriously today is a straight-up miracle.

The End of Summer

I thought I was going to have so much more time this Summer.  I got a book out from the library at the beginning of the Summer with the intent to finish it before now.  And I am only half way!!  How did this happen?  We also barely went to the beach, which is what we basically did all Summer last year.  Most days were Jackson trying to find a friend to hang out with, or Baron Bateman showing up at our door for Noah (thank goodness---get that boy out!), and making sure kids had done their "list" of things I gave them before going on screens.  Usually I make them do two chores, practice piano for 20 minutes, read for 30 minutes, be creative for 30 minutes, and be outside for 30 minutes.  It seemed my kids lived to complete this list all in the name of getting screen time!  Last year they would get distracted and forget they wanted screens because they were too busy having fun doing these other things.  But this year, they knew better!  Haha!  At the beginning of Summer when I asked Noah what he was most looking forward to over the holidays, his answer was, "TV."  Hmm.

It was a weird Summer.  We had our busy go-go times.  But a lot of it was spent trying to get our new house in order.  Which still isn't.  By the way.  Some of my favourite times spent were late TV nights with the boys (so, Noah got his wish).  We managed to watch two whole seasons of, "A Series of Unfortunate Events" (which I highly recommend).  I also really enjoyed seeing the girls use their bedroom as a play area.  They have a new Barbie house thanks to Sarah, and that house has been their Summer.  The cul-de-sac has also been their Summer.  Always out there with their scooters or bikes.  Here are a few at-home fun times;  Meaning, beach which we only went to a handful of times, and the splash park which we only went to ONCE!  I have failed as a Mother.

They do Zumba on the beach on Wednesday evenings, and Ellie was in Zumba heaven.  She remembered it from last year and just got right in there with all those ladies!  She wants to take classes now.  That's a lie.  She wanted to take classes last year!  And now she has remembered that she wants classes again.  Haha!  She will be in ballet instead.  Sorry Zumba.

 Goodbye Summer.

Good Night Jane

This little squirt has PERSONALITY bursting from limb to limb.  I've gone from wanting to murder her, to thinking, "aw.  She's cute."  It's a great place to be.  The only exception would be when she has to miss her nap at church.  We are usually not friends on Sunday.  Haha!  But otherwise, she is a hoot.  Here we are before bed-time after reading her Look-and-Find Peppa book that she's obsessed with, saying prayers, and then singing a song.  Which usually turns into ten.  She likes to make a request right before the last word and it's usually something like, "Chide-a-Got!" (Child of God) or "Wainbow!" (Rainbows), so I can't refuse.  On this particular night I got out my camera and she copied every face I made.  Yup.  She's cute.  

She has Joe's stump-tongue.

Her sleeping-face is my favourite!  It is times like these that I think she is just the cutest.  Times when she is not the cutest is when I have to put her in time-out three times within ten minutes.  Like yesterday.  That's not cute.  But I think the change that is happening here is that she can communicate with me.  And communicate she does!  That girl can talk!  She is getting things.  We are understanding each other!  And this is huge.  I mean, she still wants what she wants, so when she doesn't get it then watch out!  But I can usually reason with her to an extent.  This reasoning does not count during church when she wants a fruit snack or a treat from my purse and I tell her she has to wait until after the bread and water.  "Got it Jane?"  "Got it.  But treat?  I hold it?"  "Yes, you can hold it and THEN we can open it AFTER the bread and water."  "Open treat?!"  And so forth.

I have been thinking about potty training Jane this Fall.  In fact, I was kind of thinking this week but I am too tired and I'm not interested in yelling at her for a week straight.  I need to gear up for these things.  She's showing all the signs though.  She takes off her diaper almost every morning, sometimes at night before bed actually!  But she doesn't pee on the floor, so she can hold it.  She is also hiding to go pooh.  She will tell me that she has a stinky bum, and then I will check her diaper and if it's still dry, then I know she is trying to tell me that she wants to poop somewhere.  This often happens at church during sacrament meeting and she lets the world know!  So I take her into the hallway so she can hide somewhere and do her business, then she will come back and let me know it's time for me to change her bum.  My only set back is that she is afraid of the toilet.  I bought her Peppa undies about a month ago and she tried them on and loved them, but then when I told her she had to sit on the toilet to go pee, she gave them right back and asked for her diaper.  Haha!  That girl knows what she wants.  She reminds me of Ellie.  Which scares me sometimes.  But I think girls like Ellie will make incredible women!  Women who know what they want are a force to be reckoned with!  But when the force is the Mom, it kind of stinks.  "Come on!  Mommy can sit on the toilet like a big girl.  Now it's Jane's turn."  "Noooooooooo!"  So.  This will be fun. 

Back To School

My heart hurt a little bit writing the title to this.  We have had such a fun Summer and have gotten used to the Summer chaos.  And now it is so quiet.  I write this at ten in the morning, bored as heck because I have nowhere to be and nothing to do.  Wait.  Maybe I like that.  I haven't decided yet.  All I know is that it's crazy quiet here and no one is asking me to take them places or feed them.

This morning came like a blow since we are all used to sleeping in past nine, but when I got up everyone was dressed and ready to go.  Well.  Everyone but Noah.  The girls had eaten and dressed themselves and were playing in their room.  Who knows when they woke up!  Jackson said he woke up BEFORE his alarm clock went off (something ridiculous like 6:45am.  Barf) just so he wouldn't feel tired waking up to an alarm.  Hmm.  You would think that waking up earlier would do that.  I do not possess this gift of waking myself up, so I guess I will always feel tired at the sound of a beeping alarm.  Haha!  Noah, on the other hand, had to be woken up on three different accounts by me.  "Noah.  Noah!  It's school today.  Noah?!"  This poor boy will have some adjusting to do.

Zoe (grade one)

 Ellie (grade three)

Jackson (grade six)

Noah (grade five) 

I asked him to smile.  Apparently that was a mistake.  He is THRILLED to be going back to school!

 The whole gang.  I almost drove them to school because it was so cold this morning and I didn't want to be cold.  But then I thought, what kind of example/habits would I be setting for my kids if on the first cold day they all felt like they needed a ride?  So.  We braved the cold.  And I am still freezing.

We had to buy school supplies this year (last year we paid a fee and the school provided them.  Not this year.  Sad).  Two whole hours in Wal-Mart, a trip to Staples and a special order just to get everything.  AND I somehow managed to fit it all in that bike trailer!  I was worried it would drag the whole way to school!  Haha!

Zoe:  "Mom, I like when you bike with us."  Me:  "Aww."  Don't get used to it.  

Most of Ellie's friends are in a different class together.  This is so hard to watch because this has been her experience all of elementary thus far!  But she took it like a champ and at least knew a few kids in there.  There is a new family that moved into the area that we had over just last week, so that is the friend she got to sit by (Lily Gibb).  At least they have each other.

Zoe is having the complete opposite experience where almost all of her friends from last year are in her class.  It was not hard for her to say goodbye at all.  She gave me a hug and that was that.  Noah and Jackson found their class on their own.  The difference is, Jackson said goodbye to me, and Noah just walked off.  Haha!  Oh boy.  I still peeked in like a good Mom and gave them a thumbs up, hopefully embarrassing them both!

L-R:  Cru Taylor, Miriam Steed, Zoe, Paisley Johnson, Talia Adams.  How cute and grown up they all are in their desks.  Everyday all day, here we come!  I might be tearing up a little right now.

All day every day with this little monkey.  She is going to be so bored of me.  I have challenged myself to give my mornings to her and be her bud, then during afternoon nap time, it will be me-time (I say this as I sit at the computer during Jane-time.  Winning already).  She and I are going to be good little buddies this year.  It's a weird feeling not being pregnant or holding another baby at this stage of life.  It's going to be all about Jane.  Refreshing might be the word one might use.  Freedom might be another good choice.   Haha!  This is absolutely a new stage of life for me.  Coming out of the baby craziness phase and right into teenage-hood (according to Noah today.  Who is ten).  Am I ready?