RS Broadcast

So, I had a few thoughts as I watched the General Relief Society broadcast tonight.  One is that although I think I would DIE if ever asked to give the prayer at one of those things, the perk would be that you get to shake the hand of the Prophet and the first Presidency as they pass by you.  How amazing would that be?  I think the closest I have been to a prophet was when I happened to be in Utah during the Pioneer Days parade and saw President Hinkley drive by in the parade with his wife waving at the crowd.  That was amazing.  So, to shake the Prophet's hand would be even more so I would imagine. 

I have been sick with a cold this weekend so I managed to watch the broadcast online.  Although I had Zoe crying in my ear for a portion of it, I appreciate the things that I DID get out of it.  One thing that stood out the most to me was when the 2nd Councilor spoke of how she almost lost her husband and she was upset and even angry.  She stopped praying for a few days and then decided that she needed to make her will the same as the Lord's will and accept whatever may come.  Well, thankfully His will lined up with hers and her husband was able to get better.  However, not too much later her 17 year old daughter died.  So sad.  I hate crying.  And I hate crying even more with a cold.  I began to think (and I shouldn't have done this, but I couldn't help it) about how I would feel if I were her.  I imagined my own child (now I REALLY shouldn't have done this) and of course just cried some more.  How strong she must have been to say not my will but Thine be done?  And then I thought of my husband who was out running some errands.  He was also an hour late, which is not totally uncommon, but since when did twenty minutes become an hour and a half?  I started to let my mind reel of all the possibilities.  What if he got in a car accident and died and that was the last time I saw him?  At least I would have a picture in my mind of him reading a bedtime story to our children that night and helping me do the dishes and giving me a hug in the kitchen while rocking me back and forth.  But then I thought of the aftermath and how not ready for a life I would be without him.  I plan to have a long, LONG life with him and we are supposed to grow old together.  So, I texted him and thankfully he called back right away.  "I'm two minutes away!"  (It was more like five.  No concept of time I tell you).  He just laughed at me because he thinks I have a tendency to be a little on the paranoid side.  Which is partially true, but I was glad to hear that he was okay and that he came home to me in one piece.  I am grateful to him for being such a loving husband.  Even today he wrote me a little note telling me how grateful he was for me (can you see how I could be a LITTLE bit worried that this was our last day together?  It was lined up perfectly like he was saying goodbye or something!).  Although he has been so busy with school he has still managed to try his best to be an attentive father and husband when he is home and I am grateful for that as well.

Another thought I had that goes along with my last one was that it is not enough to be ON the journey, we need to be awake.  I liked that.  Sometimes it can be far too easy to mosey along or float along and life just passes.  Just this evening I was noticing Ellie as Joe was reading to the children.  She had grown before my very eyes!  She was so attentive to the book and so understanding of the tractor and the calf and how they were sad but they were friends and helped each other.  Joe could hardly get a word in because she kept talking, "The cow is in the mud, Dad?  And Otis is driving in circles, Dad?  And then he gets out of the mud..."  It was so cute to hear her go on and on.  I had read it to her the day before and she remembered every little detail and was reciting right back.  Since when did she get to be so smart and sweet?  Isn't she just a toddler?  No.  She is almost three going on eighteen!  It seems that ever since Zoe was born I have heard the phrase, "Enjoy this stage while you can.  It goes so fast!" endless times!  I have every intention of doing that, ...but of course every day just shoots by and I wonder if I am doing a good enough job at trying to slow things down and enjoy the present?  It is true that it does go by fast.  I only hope I can do a good enough job at enjoying the journey and being "awake" for it.

And then President Eyring (whom I love and adore) spoke a lot on caring for each other.  Boy do I know all about that moving out here!  It was a touch terrifying leaving everything familiar to me to move out East away from family and friends.  But boy did it make me grateful for the Relief Society program and visiting teaching program!  Instant friends and family.  People who are there to look after you and help you and be your friend, or your Mom or Grandma.  (I was about to say sister, ...but no one can replace those!)  I have never really been on the receiving end of needing help in the church like this, so it was a blessing to see the church in action and I was very impressed by the help we received so willingly.  We had people I had barely met come over to watch our kids when we went into the hospital for Zoe's delivery, (even staying over night), and  meals and gifts and phone calls.  I have never been in more need of that service until we moved here and have never felt more grateful to receive it.  It makes me want to pay it forward to repay all those sisters!  Which was another thing he touched on, ...there is a time and place in our lives to serve.  Sometimes we need to recognize our limits and not run faster than we have strength.  THAT made me think of my Mom and my Mother in Law and my Grandma Burnham and Grandma Gibb.  All women who tirelessly serve people!  Joe told me that I don't even KNOW how amazing my Grandma Burnham is, she was the queen of service and if she still had the body she had years ago, she'd never stop!  The funny thing is, she is already a wonderful example of service, but apparently she was even more so when she was younger.  It must kill her some days that she cannot do what her heart desires.  What an amazing example.  And my grandma Gibb, the first time I met her, her kindness made me feel as though that is what my own grandmothers would have been like if I had the chance to get to know them.  That was a huge service to me.  Colette as I have said many times is the epitome of tireless service.  One thing that President Eyring said is that it takes years to get to that point.  I believe him.  I have much to learn.  And then there is my own Mother.  I hardly know where to begin.  I can hardly keep up to my four children and my Mom did this times two, PLUS two.  Haha!  She always managed to keep a beautiful home and taught us all the gospel and set a good example.  One thing that I remember most about her was once we had a temple built in Edmonton, I recall her desire to go to the temple often.  She loves the temple.  Even now she says the thing she misses dearly since they have moved is serving in the temple.  She is an endless list of love and service that I hope over time I can become.

I'm grateful that although the adversary would have me be sleepy and gross with this nasty cold, that I was still able to listen online to the broadcast and feel the Spirit and look forward to General Conference next weekend.  I love this time of year!  Let's hope my cold is gone by then because I usually do a LOT of crying (I am already tirelessly blowing my nose as it is!).  I am so grateful that we have a living Prophet today.  I feel very fortunate and lucky to have that burning testimony.  Hooray for Conference!

Red Velvet DANGER

Costco is the best and worst!  A few weeks ago I came across these red velvet bad-babies and honestly sat there staring at them for a few minutes.  I picked them up.  Put them back down.  Longed for them in my heart.... and then walked away.  I should have left it at that.  But I came back.  Oh I came back!  Last week when I did my Costco run I was determined to pick them up and actually put them in my cart, pay for them and take them home with me.  I was thinking about them all week long, so ...that's what I did.  There were only six.  And I would share.

Maybe.

Well, here we are a week later and I am finally finishing off my last cupcake!  These things are huge so I had to cut them in half (partially for Zoe's sake because they give her gas.  Sorry Zoe!  And me.  Sorry Joe!).  Since this one was already a week old and not-very-moist any more, I only ate the top half with the icing (so it was kind of like eating half of one.  Right?).  Well, I've finished it off just in time.  Just in time for what you ask?  My six week mark!  In two days Zoe will be six weeks old which means I have to start...  uh, I mean, I GET TO start working out again (among other things).  And I really have to start eating like I want to get my body back, ...but I'm not gonna lie.  I have a candy cupboard that is going nowhere soon.  And I don't want it to go anywhere!  Is it a crime to keep re-stocking it?  But let's talk about why I so desperately need my sugar.  I am all alone in my house, it was a long day with the kids,  Zoe just went down at 9:30pm and it's finally quiet and I want something that I can enjoy.  Devour.  I am at a loss to find the adjective that will accurately portray the desperate need to describe to you what I am feeling here (did that even make sense?  I don't know.  It's late.  Don't make me think.).  And because I am alone, I am also somewhat lonely and the sweets make it all better.  Don't they?  Well, they do for me!  Who needs a husband or friends when you have a cupcake calling your name?  ...until I want to squeeze into my jeans again one day.  Anywho, ...besides the point!  The point is, these cupcakes were worth every little lipid clinging to my thighs right now.

And I really do wish I had a husband again.

And friends.

Costco, I hate you.

And I love you.

Hukd on Fonix Wurks For Mee!

Lately Jackson has been all about spelling.  Whenever I see him playing on my phone or Joe's iPad he has surprised me because instead of playing games, he is actually writing notes.  Lately he's been taking these post-it notes from the office desk, writing messages and then sticking them all over the house. He loves trying to spell things out all on his own and I think he's been doing pretty good without any of our help. It's so funny what he comes up with though. Here are a few...
"Bad guys, you're in trouble and I am going to put you in jail.  You're in trouble."  
(Hmmm... a little violent, but at least the next message is sweet).  "I am a child of God.  And my family."
"God, family and my friends, I love you" (above), and "Make $13,000 bucks, Dad.  From Jackson."  (I like that one).
The next few make me laugh. These ones are on the boys bedroom door.  "Ellie, don't open this door."
"This is our club."

Ellie, you're not allowed in."

And if those weren't clear enough, "It's only for me and Noah."  (A true older brother already in the making).
These are about a month old.  The school sent home a "Schoolastic" book order form and there's a Lego Starwars book he's been pining over for weeks, ...so those have been the bulk of his notes these days.  He's even put some in the mail box for us to find as well as all over the house.  "I wont to mak sum many to bie a Lego Starwars buk!" Haha!  Who needs home decor when you have post-it notes?

She Cooks Too. Sometimes.

So last week I was trying my hardest to be Ninja-Wife (especially now that my Mother in Law is no longer here to coddle me and spoil me) and I made real dinners almost every night last week!  We had a few rainy days and I had some vegetables that needed to get used up, ...so I spent some time inside cooking/baking: making whole wheat bread, potato-corn chowder, broccoli soup, AND I made this lovely number.  People, these are all-afternoon type of meals so I was very impressed with myself!  My husband, who doesn't even like chicken pot pie, said it was delicious and was especially impressed with my crust.  And I know you're all wondering, "did she really make that pie crust?"  The answer is yes!  I think my Grandma Burnham would be proud (that is the highest of praise when it comes to cooking.  If Grandma Burnham can be proud of my cooking accomplishments then I know I've made it in the world of house-wife!).  It is getting easier to make real meals these days because my kids are getting old enough to actually eat my meals and I have a husband who appreciates it and will even pack the left overs for lunch the following day (which is also high praise).  Plus, I am not pregnant anymore, so it makes cooking a HECK of a lot easier.  I actually can enjoy it.  And there is a wonderful sense of accomplishment when I find success in a recipe.  ...And when my kids actually eat it.  The end.

Zoe at One Month

So, Zoe is officially a month old as of yesterday!  Here's the update:  She had her one-month appointment yesterday and she is 10.4 pounds putting her in the 75th percentile.  Way to go Zoe!  Her legs and cheeks are definitely starting to get more chubby, though she has a ways to go if she wants to be like her brothers were at that stage (90th percentile.  Jax was already 10 pounds at his one week appointment if I remember correctly).  Anywho, she has been nothing but a dream baby (minus the evening grumpy-stretch).  She has her long 5-7 hour stretch through the night, so I'll take that!  And she is pleasant during the day.  The only reason why she is so grumpy during that 7-9pm stretch is because I make her stay up which forces her to have her long sleep through the night!  I feed her and put her to bed at 9-ish, feed her at 11:30-midnight-ish and put her right back down where she has her long stretch.  She usually wakes up around 5-ish to eat and then goes right back down until 7:30-8ish.  It's been perfect!  I love how "sleep" is the biggest and most exciting topic of conversation when it comes to new babies.  It's because it's all they do!  (And it's all I WANT to be doing). However, as of two weeks ago she started smiling!  A new exciting topic of conversation!  I can usually get her to smile right after feeding her (that is obviously when she is most happy and satisfied!).  It doesn't last too long and she's not consistent with it, but I can usually say, "You got some smiles for Mommy?" in a real buttery, high voice and it works.  Oh.  And my non-puking baby now pukes.  Joe even told me not to get my hopes up.  He cursed it.  She didn't puke for the first two weeks and I was SO excited!  But now she does.  Thanks a lot.  However, it's not after EVERY feeding and it's never a lot (my boys were projectile pukers multiple times between feedings, so I'll take it).  She has the sweetest little Spirit and I love having her around. I guess I'll keep her!  So far, I think this has been the easiest transition from three to four kids.  I don't know if it's because all the hard stuff has already happened with the other children so I don't get surprised very easily anymore.  (Been there, done that).  Or maybe it's because three kids is already chaotic so adding another doesn't make a huge difference when it comes to busyness.  But she also is really quite easy (for now).  So I will thank my lucky stars!

Here are a few pics I took of her a couple days ago.  I know they are not very professional looking or anything.  Just a few captures for fun.  The best is babies at this stage are really good at making the ugliest faces and these were literally taken one after the other.  So, here is my very talented daughter.  She gets it from her Dad:

I think this last one is my favourite. It's like she scared herself silly. Haha! I love this girl. One thing about having babies is that you get to slow your life down enough at certain points of your day to just snuggle them and love them and kiss them. She definitely gets her fair share of kisses from me! I love you Zoe!

My Elle Bells at Two and a Half

I cannot believe it but, ladies and gentlemen, my little baby Zoe is officially a month old as of today (which is also my Mom's birthday!).  Time is so slippery!  Surely the curse of a Mom with four kids.  To see my baby grow so quickly, it also makes me take a look at my other kids and notice how quickly they are growing too!  I have been spending so much time and attention on my boys and Zoe that Ellie (the one with the biggest personality and demanding the most attention these days) seems to get left out.  So I thought I would spend a little time doing an update on Ellie and leave Zoe's one-month update for another time.

It seems the moment we moved here, Ellie decided to have a strong personality.  Strong can mean so many things, so let me use a few more words to describe her:  Crazy, cries a lot, screams a lot, knows how to turn off the tears and turn them right back on, is constantly on her period, has multiple personalities, doesn't like to nap anymore.  She is also way too smart for her own good.  Although she can be a handful some days, she also makes me laugh a lot.  I think she likes being the clown in our family.  She loves making the boys laugh and is really good at it, but it's usually at the expense of my sanity.  Every night I seem to be repenting during my prayers because I lost it with Ellie again.  For example my once-excellent eater at dinner time no longer eats willingly.  So I am constantly trying to get her to sit down at the table and focus on taking the next bite.  This is usually the most stressful and annoying part of my day, which doubles in frustration when Joe is not around for dinner to help.  "Ellie, sit down please."  "On dis one?"  "Yes sit there."  "Dis one or dis one?" (picture her pointing to two different chairs).  "Here, Ellie.  Sit HERE!  In front of your plate."  "Dis one?"  "YES!  SIT DOWN!  Do you want to go into time out?"  "OKAY!  OKAY! I coming!!"  And then she starts to sit on her chair, at which point I get distracted with the boys or Zoe and she uses that as an opportunity to slip right off 10 seconds later.  Then we go through the same song and dance about fifty times each evening.  "Ellie, sit in your chair!  Do you want to sit in time out?"  "Yes."  "Fine!"  And then I stick her on the stairs.  Once we had a stare-off after I put her in time-out where she proceeded to smile at me and I, like a good Mom, was NOT going to back down.  Guess who won?  She did.  This is the time in my day where I laugh so deliriously that I look like I am going insane.  It's because I am.  She is SOOOOO talented with pushing my buttons.  The best is one time I put her in time-out for screaming.  After she had done her time, I asked "Why are you in time-out?" and in a soft high-pitched princess voice she replied, "I na screamin' Mom."  To which I laughed at because of how silly she sounded.  And now any time I ask her that, she replies with the same thing, because she got me to laugh that one time and thinks it's funny.  "No Ellie, not for screaming.  It's because you aren't eating your food/you hit your brother/you didn't obey Mommy..." and the list goes on.  She's also decided when she's ready to get out of time out to say, "I'm happy Mom!  I'm happy!" in a high, soft princess voice (verging on crazy) while batting her eye lashes, immediately turning off the tears and trying to look sweet and adorable and innocent.  But I know what she really is!  I KNOW!!!!

But Ellie is not ALL disaster.  One of her multiple personalities include being cute, ...that's the one I like best.  She is totally into princesses and we have these mini plastic princess dolls that she plays with constantly.  I love hearing the banter that she comes up with between her dolls and occasionally she involves me.  Usually it consists of one of her dolls falling off something, "save me!!  I fall down!  Oh nooooooo!  Save me!" at which point, the princess that I am holding sweeps down and rescues the damsel in distress.  This usually happens about twenty times within a five minute period.  And now that the boys are in school, Ellie has found that she can get away with playing with their Lego guys while they are gone.  What a perk for her!  Usually they say, "No Ellie!  Lego guys don't play with Princesses!"  Well, in her world while they are at school, they DO!  Lately her new thing is playing with blocks, but not like any normal kid.  There are Daddy-blocks and Mommy-blocks and baby blocks, ...and she pretty much just does the same kind of role playing that she does with the Princesses and Legos.  "Dis is da Mommy one and dis is da Daddy one and dis is da baby one and dis is da other baby one...." Everything is Mommy, Daddy or baby-sized.  Not big, medium or small.  It's pretty cute.  She is also a pretty darn good sister to Zoe.  I thought she might have some jealous feelings or become more clingy, but she is just happy being a big, "helpful" sister.   If baby Zoe is sad, she will sing her ABC's at the top of her lungs with all the gusto a two year old can muster.  And what baby doesn't love a rousing rendition of ABC's to calm the troubled heart?  Or gas pains?  She also will not be left behind!  When the boys started school, she knew in her mind that she was going to go to school too!  Well, I have no choice so we all walk together to drop off and pick up the boys and thankfully that is enough for Ellie when it comes to "going to school."  She also loves to snuggle before bed.  I think Joe and I have our different things that we each do when we snuggle her at night time.  Usually I just sing her one song, and the request always seems to be the same, "Ride Ride" (which is a Granny Burnham song).  

Ride Ride, Ellie will ride
With the little puppy dog tied to her side
And the little pussy cat tied to the other
Ellie is going to see her Grandmother
When she gets to Grandmother's house
She will see pussy cat catching a mouse
And the little doggy goes "Ruff!  Ruff!  Ruff!  Ruff!"
While Ellie is milking her Grandmother's cow

Ellie likes to switch up her name with things like, "kitty and puppy" or "Tangled" or "princess" or whatever silly thing she can come up with on the spot and she thinks it's hilarious to substitute the last word for "house" instead of "cow."  HIL-AIR!  And when we are finished the song, she will come up with any excuse to stall bed-time.  "Drink a water Mom?"  Which I will usually give her, but that's IT!  When she does "Daddy-snuggles," the routine seems to go on quite a bit longer.  I'm not sure if it's because she's Daddy's Princess and he gives in to her or because he's just tired and actually wants to fall asleep in there with her.  Haha!  I don't blame him at the end of the day.  No wonder she requests "Daddy-snuggles" more than "Mommy snuggles."  What a rip off, ...only ONE song.  She is also really interested in the toilet, but I am not interested in potty training her, although I told myself by the end of the month once we're all in a groove with the boys going to school that I would buckle down and start.  Heaven help me!

Anywho, she is my sweet, smart and sassy little girl ...and she knows it!  These pics were taken a few days ago at the same apple orchard we went to with Granny last week complete with a cute little farm-girl outfit.  I love this girl to bits! 

Granny's Visit

Last week Joe's Mom flew in to come visit us for a whole week! Colette just left yesterday and I already feel such a void in my life! I had a constant companion and a help-meet! I know that's what a husband is supposed to be, but I think Mother In Laws are better at it. At least Joe's Mom is. She was tireless when it came to helping around the house, making dinners, yard work, babysitting, grocery shopping, ...the list goes on. It was honestly so inspiring to watch her go at it, ...and let me tell you, I really did try to keep up, but when most people stop to take a break, she just keeps going. Maybe one day I can be like that. But for now? I will take my naps when I can get 'em! Of course it wasn't ALL hard work and no play. She also got to be a Granny to little Zoe and the kids.

Zoe has JUST started smiling as of last week and Granny was able to capture one of her first ones in actual response to her. I think Zoe looks a lot like Ellie in the above shot and Noah (below) when she smiles.

This next picture of her is on our trip to Palmyra. I HAD to throw this one in because I think her lips and chubby cheeks look so cute!!  We are about a 3-hour drive away, so we left the three oldest with a sitter (thanks Jennifer Bootland!) and took the drive out to see one of the most sacred places in Joseph Smith history. As you can see, she traveled well for us (keeping the experience "sacred" ...or at least quiet).
This is the Hill Cumorah Visiting Centre where Joseph Smith found the plates.

This is a picture of one of the first editions of the Book of Mormon. I thought that was pretty neat!


And this is the actual hill where the plates were buried. Thankfully it was not busy at all, so we were the only ones there on the hill. It was so neat to think that almost 200 years ago the plates were found here.

 Not too far down the road was Joseph Smith's farm and of course, what we all came for, the Sacred Grove.

It was so peaceful and beautiful. As soon as you walked down the path it became suddenly very quiet and still. No wonder he went here to pray. One of the things we talked about on the way home was how we each need to have a place like this in our lives, whether it's a grove of trees, or JJ Colette, or some sort of quiet space where Heavenly Father can touch our hearts and commune with us and allow us to have our own spiritual moments.  I guess my house full of four crazy kids would not be one of those places.  Tee hee!


It was neat having Zoe there as she is still so close to the veil.  There was one point where she got really quiet and Joe and I thought, this MUST be the place where it happened.  We were kind of joking around, but as I thought about it the Spirit became so strong.  I knew we were close which is a pretty incredible feeling knowing the Savior and God the Father appeared in these woods.

Here we are just outside of the Sacred Grove. Everywhere around us was so beautiful. Orchards and farmland and gardens. So pretty!

Joe and I thought this was really cool! A tree hallowed out to make a trough, ...or a crib.


And here's Joe just outside of the house Joseph grew up in. You can't really tell in this picture but it is so small! I don't know how they crammed in that many kids! I would love to go back again while we are living here. We only had a couple of hours and it's just not enough time. We didn't do any of the tours and we still didn't get to see everything. So yes, we will have to go back.
We also thought it would be neat to take Colette to Niagra Falls. We decided this time to do a picnic. But the Burnhams don't do picnics small. I was thinking some sandwiches and fruit or something, but Joe wanted to try out that rib-recipe he got off that fellow at Rib-Fest, ...and I must say, they were delicious! Even comparable to the ribs from last week. Definitely using that recipe again! So yes, we had ribs at the park right near the Falls. Go big or go home right?

Noah was so cute with Zoe. He was her protector and friend. He'd just talk to her and stare at her and if the seagulls got too close he'd run after them and tell them to go away! Tres adorable.

I think this picture above is our very first family picture with all of us together.  Well, it was an attempt anyway!  Haha!  Anywho, I asked some friends from church where they thought I should take my MIL here and one of the responses was "Frootogo" which is an apple orchard/farm/play area for kids/feed the farm animals/yummy food!  So, ..that is where we went!

We started the morning off picking apples. It was such a beautiful day!
I didn't take any pics of Ellie in the play area since I was nursing, but it was huge and full of slides and toy cars and a sand pit area. Pretty much every kid's dream. Along with kids dreams, we bought some animal feed and Ellie fed the rabbits, chickens and goats.
I love sunflowers, so I couldn't resist capturing a pic! This past week with Colette went way too fast. We had some Catan and Scrabble nights, beach time, and just plain ol' hang out and visit time. I went into a mini-depression when we dropped her off at the airport last night. Ellie was having a tantrum in the car, Zoe was crying and the boys were grumpy because I ordered the wrong kind of burger (making ME grumpy). I bet you miss my grumpy family Colette! Haha! It was a pretty funny sight though. But for reals, I came home and almost immediately got really sad. I love my Mother in Law. She is truly so inspiring and so full of wisdom and love and selflessness. We always have such great talks. I feel like I lost my best friend. Thank goodness for Skype! That is what I will tell myself so I don't cry. I love you Colette! Come back and visit soon!!

Noah's First Day

So, today was Noah's first FULL day of Junior Kindergarten.  There were absolutely no tears.  In fact, when I dropped him off in his JK line-up after giving him a hug and a kiss he didn't even look back.  "Okay.  Bye Mom."  Haha!  It sure makes it easier on the Mom when your kid isn't bawling.  Sighhhhhhhhhh....  Jackson, on the other hand, cried every day last week at being dropped off and the first few occasional pick-ups.  Today was his first day of not crying when I sent him off to his Grade One line.  Joe and I have been back and forth trying to figure out if we want to just swallow it and keep him in Grade One and give it a chance or get him into Senior Kindergarten.  After his first day I was determined to switch him since he was so miserable.  Like a true hormonal Mommy, I totally bawled about it to my Mom.  It is so hard to watch your kid go through something hard like that (I'm sure this is just the beginning).  My tender little Jackson who is usually so up and positive was so withdrawn when he'd get home, almost like a moody teenager.  That was not my boy and it was tearing me up.  And then the second day when he was still sad AND when I found out he was actually in a Grade 1-2 split (one of only five grade-oners), I was definitely not happy.  I also found out that his teacher is normally a grade five teacher and is a little hard on the students, ...which was confirmed when Jackson told me by day four that his teacher yelled at him and he was scared to go to school.  So, after a lot of prayer and things becoming more and more clear, we got him into Senior Kindergarten.  Phewf!  It is seriously such a relief, especially since the Principal kind of gave us a hard time and we had to go through the Super Intendent to get him cleared through the Province.  Sheesh.  It was such a hassle, but I had Joe deal with it (thank goodness), so I didn't have to cry on the phone to anyone to explain our case.  The best part about this story is after we finally got it all sorted out today, I went to pick up the boys from school and asked Jackson how grade one was today, "It was good."  "Well guess what?  Daddy got you into Kindergarten Jax!  Isn't that awesome?"  "Ummm, no thanks."  Hahahaha!  Oh dear.  I explained it to him a little more when we got home, so I think he's a little more pumped about it now.  We shall see how tomorrow goes for him.  As for Noah's first full day, his teachers (Mrs Elliot and Mrs Felps) said that he did really well today.  There were a few times today where he had some "shy" moments and wanted to be by himself or when he didn't want to participate in structured-group activities, but that doesn't really surprise me because he is a pretty independent kid and he has such a tender heart, ...and I'm sure he missed me.  Well, I can tell myself that anyway, right?  I'm just glad that when I picked him up there were no tears.  Only excitement.  And he wants to go back tomorrow, so I am going to take that as a good sign.

First Day of School

Today was a big day. Jax, Joe and Noah started school today! Well, actually Joe's had orientation all last week and Noah's official first day will be in two days. So this big day was really for Jackson.  Noah and I walked him to school and on the way we had a really good chat.  Last night for Family Home Evening Joe gave each of us School Blessings, ...and we of course bawled the whole way through it.  It's interesting changing from the kid receiving the blessing from your Dad to being the parent and your husband giving your children blessings.  What a different perspective!  Jax is such a special kid. One thing we talked about on our walk to school was that if he ever felt alone or was feeling afraid he could always say a prayer in his heart and ask for the Spirit to comfort him.  I don't know how I didn't cry through that conversation.  I did pretty good! Anywho, this year we were anticipating putting him in Kindergarten.  When we arrived last month we knew that Noah qualified for Junior Kindergarten and I THOUGHT Jax would be fine to go into Senior Kindergarten (I think only Ontario does JK and SK).  Well, last week I found out from the secretary that he has to go into Grade One because the cut off for the school year is Jan 1st instead of March 1st like it is in Alberta, ...and Jax is a December kid.  We purposely held him back so he could be on the older-end in his grade and have an advantage socially and physically, but here they are not giving us a choice.  After making several phone calls and talking to different people on the school board (well, I made Joe do it because I was afraid of turning into Mamma-Bear and starting off the year on not-a-good-note), they told us that Jax pretty much had to start in Grade One.  So today, I got to send him off with no Pre-school nor Kindergarten experience to his Grade One teacher, Mister Henderson.  Jackson was super pumped to start school and was practically skipping the whole way there.  Well, we arrived and all the classes were meeting outside behind the school.  It was chaotic, to say the least, and by the time we found Jackson's teacher he had done a 180.  All of his excitement quickly turned into timidness and fear.  He was clinging to me doing his brave "trying-not-to-cry" face and I had to try to be even more brave and not let him see one tear slip.  It was hard!  Instead I encouraged him and reminded him what we talked about on the way to school, that if he ever felt scared or alone he could always say a prayer in his heart and ask for the Spirit to help him feel better/be brave.  Then the school bell rang and that was that.  I had a pit in my stomach watching him be the last kid in his class go through the door with the help pf an Aid taking his hand and leading him away.  But Jax is usually the type to get distracted and snap out of it;  He's a social kid, he'll be fine.  Or so I thought....

I spent all day thinking about Jackson and praying for him, so when I went to go pick him up and found him coming through the doors in tears, I was devastated.  I was not prepared for my gung-ho, positive child to hate Grade One.  

We talked about it when we got home and it was so heart-breaking to hear him talk about how he was scared all day and he didn't know what he was doing and all the other kids did.  It made me right then and there want to pull him out and put up a fight to get him into SK.  But then I have a husband who also has a say and thinks he can be brave and tough it out.  So, I think I am going to give it a solid week and go from there.  I don't want Jackson's school experience this year to be a negative thing.  I really hope he either latches on, or that it becomes so clear that he needs to have that Kindergarten experience (which I still feel strongly every child should have to ease them into the rest of school.  My kid doesn't need to grow up faster than he already is!).

After Joe came home and talked to him he didn't seem as broken about it and he said he would try again tomorrow.  So, I am hoping that it sticks and that tomorrow can be a different experience.  As a Mom I just want him to stay under my wing and I just want to protect him from everything, but I know deep down he has to experience hard things too.  I just wish he didn't have to do it at five.  Anywho, so being me I took some back-to-school pics of the boys.  The Burnhams used to have their kids pose at the front door step, so Joe helped out with the poses. 


Jax came up with this gangsta one. Haha!

And Noah came up with his own pose too. Not sure exactly what he's doing, but it's darn cute! When did my four-year-old get so big?!

And here's my little Joey! All growed up!


Here's Jax at school before his 180 turn, still pumped as ever!  Haha!  I am really hoping things turn around and we can get something figured out.  In two days it will be Noah's turn, which also makes me anxious because he has the same all-day schedule!  But I believe it will be filled with more play/fun/active time than reading/writing/boring time.  I will be sure to report soon!  Let us hope that he has an easier adjustment than Jackson's first day!