Callings

I love Joe.  It is Monday today.  On Thursday night we both learned that he was being asked to be in the Bishopric that Sunday.  Woah!  Joe's immediate response what that he thought he was not good enough.  That right there shows me all the humility the Lord needs to qualify him.  Joe has a willing heart and he is all about serving.  I know he will be wonderful in this call.  My immediate response was, don't you have to be a grown up to do that sort of thing?  Haha!  I guess the Lord overlooks that sort of thing.  I am super proud of Joe.  I think this calling will be so good for both of us.  It will allow us to rise to the occasion and make the most of the moments we will have with each other and family time.  Not to mention, we really need these blessings.  I was talking to Alaina Johnson (her husband was just released from the Bishopric) and she said with tears in her eyes that what she will miss most are the added blessings that come with this heavy calling.  She said the Lord always seemed to bless her with enough energy, or her kids would be extra good in sacrament, etc.  She could always feel that the Lord was giving more, or her burdens were made light.  I am not so naive as to think that there won't be some very challenging days ahead sharing my husband with our ward members, but I do look forward to those blessings.  Joe will be a better man just from serving alone.  I will be a better woman as I commit to being a supportive wife and patient mother.  This is no funeral for me.  Only excitement here.  Well.  We did have a funeral for Joe's delicious moustache though.  We were trying out the beard for a while, and I quite enjoyed having a rugged man around the house.  Jackson says he misses it and thinks that Joe looked older with the beard.  Look at that baby face now!

Newest Crystal Ridge Ward Bishopric; L-R:  Joe (Second Councillor), Dallin Doney (Bishop), Roger Grigor (previous Bishop), Wade Van Rooyen (First Councillor), Ben Andruski (Ward Clerk).

Tired

First of all. This girl is cute. I actually captured her snuggling on my shoulder! She never does that.  AND she eventually fell asleep this way. Want to know why? She may be a cutie, but her sleeping habits these days STINK! It hasn't always been this way people.  She gave me the best weeks of my life not that long ago and would sleep from 7pm-7am.  It was amazing.  Now she thinks it's funny to wake up at 5:30-6am every morning (at least for the last couple weeks anyway).  Problem is, we are both stubborn.  I have learned to be stubborn because I have done this four times already.  Usually sleep training takes a solid 3-7 days.  MAX!  You let them cry it out.  It sucks to hear them cry.  Then suddenly you wake up one morning and look at your clock to find they have slept through that feeding.  What a glorious feeling and suddenly it's all worth it!  Well this little Missy was up this morning at 5:30am and did not stop crying until I got her at 7am.  Sometimes she will fall back asleep once she realizes that I'm not coming to feed her any time soon.  But that did not happen today.  She was nice and sweaty by the time I picked her up as you can see in this photo (and so was I because I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep and I went for a brisk morning run.  Felt good.  Until about 10am today when I was ready for a nap I never got to have.  Ha!).  This week has been a week of firsts.  For one, I went out today and bought Jane some rice cereal in hopes that that will be enough to get her through the night again (once upon a time my milk supply did it, but perhaps not anymore?).  She was adorable trying to eat it.  She kept trying to grab for the spoon.  But when you're four months old, you don't know how to.  All you know is that there is something that you must touch but you are not coordinated enough to grab it.  Haha!  It was hilarious and I most certainly got some footage of that.  Another first is that she got her hair cut a few days ago.  Cutting a baby's hair when they are awake is not fun NOR is it easy.  But she's getting too old for me to try and cut it in her sleep and it was getting to the point where I needed to just level everything out.  You know how there are always about five or ten hairs that feel that they are better than the rest and grow much faster?  Well.  Now they are not so great anymore because they are GONE!  Well.  Shorter.  Also, a few weeks ago Jane got cradle cap so I had to massage some baby oil into her hair and brush it out.  It's so gross but there's something super satisfying about that process.  And sadly, with combing out all the flakes came a good portion of her hair.  Another reason for the cut.  She had nothing on top and a lovely mullet.  Now that everything is a little more levelled out, you can start to see some super coarse, blonde hair coming through.  She will be a Noah.  White-blonde hair till she's two.  And then ashy-blonde for the rest of her life (sorry Jane).  Another first is that she now has a Bumbo chair.  The chair that made these other two firsts possible.  Another first is that I think her eyes might stay blue.  Some of you may look at this picture and say, "Duh-doy!  Of course they are blue."  Yes.  They are blue.  FOR NOW!  All of my kids started out blue.  But I think hers is the lightest blue of them all, which gives me a little hope that they might stay.  I am at 70% in my positivity that this might, maybe, may, indeed, happen.  Joe may have given me a blue-eyed baby after all.
 

Ellie's New Smile

Sometimes, Moms are the best. And when I say "Moms" I mean me. Of course.  Ha!  Ellie has had a loose tooth for a long time.  Like a VERY long time.  I've been wondering why the heck it has taken so long to fall out.  Honestly!  And I certainly am not going to pull it out (well, maybe I'm not the BEST best.  But I'm pretty great).  Well, come to find there is another tooth growing in its place and it's keeping it lodged there!  So good ol' Jared told us to come down to his dental office in Olds to get it pulled.  I was able to get her an appointment for the following day (yesterday), which was awesome because the next few weeks are going to be nuts with school getting out and Canada Day, etc.   So a massive thanks to Jared for helping us out.  Well, the night before her appointment, I started feeling queasy.  In fact, I ended up in the toilet all night long coming out both ends.  Wee!  I remembered how much I hate barfing and how unfair it is as a new Mom who is so very done with the whole idea of throwing up, and whose four month old baby has been waking up between 5:30-6am for the past few weeks just for fun instead of sleeping till her usual 7am.  Why?  So many why's.  Well, I knew Ellie would be devastated if we didn't go.  And honestly, I was not interested in rebooking.  So I bucked up the next morning, even though I was feeling crummy as heck (because how many times have us pregnant women done that, right?  It's just a part of us because we have to!), and we drove into Olds that morning and came home that afternoon with a tooth for the Tooth Fairy.  I could hear her in the other room as Jared was pulling it.  She was very brave about the freezing and needle, but started whimpering when he started to pull.  Apparently she had no idea that he had actually pulled it out and continue to cry until Jared was like, "Look!  It's right here."  And then magically the tears vanished and she started to giggle.  What a weirdo.  Haha!  A pretty brave weirdo though.  Well done Eleanor.  Later that night, Ellie put the tooth under her pillow when I tucked her in, however, when the Tooth Fairy came to collect the tooth she found it clutched in Ellie's hand.  Haha!  I have a feeling she might have preferred keeping the cute glittery plastic tooth case over the loonie.  Here's her new smile!

Life's a Beach

I can't say enough good things about living in a Lake Community.  I invited a friend to join me, and when we arrived there were already five other friends with all their kids!  It's kind of great.  Especially when you are husbandless!  Always someone to hold Jane if I need to set up my umbrella or chase/find a child.  On the other hand, I have been there many times by myself and it is quite peaceful.  The first Summer in a while where I can say that around water.  I'm not quite at the point where I can read a book or anything.  But I am not super worried about drowning kids.  Thank GOODNESS!  Next year will be different.  Ha!  I have a system where I know what I need to do to set up, and the kids are kind of good helpers.  They each have their job or thing to carry in and clean up.  It takes forever, but it works.  And because I know it will take forever, I can still enjoy my time there because I expect it.  But obviously it's easier when you have adult help!  Ha!

This is going to be our Summer.  This and Callaway Park.  Yes.  We bought a Summer family pass!  There was this crazy deal we couldn't pass up and since we aren't going on vacation this Summer, this will be our way to keep busy and have fun!  The beach and rollercoasters.  Sounds all right to me!  Except for the part where I'm the Mom and the one in charge of all these crazy kids!  If someone else could pack all the lunches and snacks and beverages and towels and toys and sun screen and do all the laundry after all the fun is over ...oh.  And clean out my car.  That would be kind of great.

Here are my kids with their friends, the Gilchrists and the Johnson kids.

Why do boys have to obsess about boobs?  And why are they not more embarrassed that a Mom is taking a picture of their artwork?  And why did I feel the need to take a picture of this?  Sigh.  Do I laugh or cry?  Worry or roll my eyes?  BOYS!  It begins....  Help.

My Dream

 A couple weeks ago I woke up with a pit in my stomach.  I had a dream that did not sit well with me.  I realized upon waking up that I needed to change some things in my life.  The dream started with me looking down at Zoe who had her arms stretched out to me like she wanted me to hold her but she couldn't reach me.  I didn't even bother to have my arms outstretched to her.  And then in a blink she was being carried away by the wind right on past me and this time I had my arms stretched out to her, but I couldn't reach her.  Both of our faces were panic-stricken.  She was also reaching out to me but was just way too far away.  I was too late.

The Joseph I married is no dream interpreter nor does he wear a coat of many colours, but if I were to take a crack at it, I'd say that I think I need to make sure I am really trying to do a better job at being there for my children NOW, while they still want me around and need me and while I can still be their main influence.  When they get older, they will find answers in other areas of their life and it might be too late at that point for me to be influential.  Zoe is at that age right now where she is kind of in my face quite a bit---especially when the other kids are at school.  She LOVES being around me.  Even when I am feeding Jane.  Especially when I am feeding Jane. She has to come in the room and sit by me, or climb on the chair that I'm sitting in or bring in all her toys or books in the same room just to be in my presence.  Sometimes I let this bug me, because I LOVE quiet time.  But when I make an effort to enjoy it, I find that I really do.  I need to put forth that effort more often I think.  Well.  I know.

I think this dream applies to all of my children.  But the greatest question I have is, how can I be there for EACH child and give them each the attention they need?  I have wondered this even before having five but knowing I wanted a lot of kids.  A couple weekends ago when we were camping, Joe looked through Jackson's Journal and thought I should take a look as well.  I thought I'd find it funny to see what a nine year old would write, but I was actually quite saddened.  What I thought would be an innocent peek made me feel like I was entirely violating his deepest thoughts.  Because I was.  Almost everything in there was super angsty.  "I hate this person in my class.  I hate piano.  Ellie is dumb.  I hate my school.  I'm jealous of Noah because he is getting baptized and getting all this attention.  Etc."  My heart dropped.  What happened to my happy-go-lucky Jackson?  How come I don't see this side of him?  I asked him non-challantly, "Do you still like piano?"  "Oh yeah.  I love piano!"  Hmmmm.  (He should love piano because his teacher is awesome and is always giving her students treats and having contests to win prizes, etc.  She is all kinds of amazing!).  I want to ask him why he wrote what he did, but then he would know that I was violating his privacy.  And he never once has made it appear that he is jealous of Noah.  Only proud and all too happy to tell Noah all he knows about baptism, because he has already done it and is full of all kinds of wisdom, of course.  What this showed me is that I am not as in-tune with my kids as I thought.  I constantly feel behind!  Where and how do I start catching up with them?  As if I haven't already been praying for my children every night.  But ever since this dream, I have tried to be more specific.  It can feel overwhelming if I think of all I have to do in order to be a "good Mom" but since this dream I feel like I have had special moments here and there with each child.  Sometimes they are not even necessarily "special" but just one on one time.   Just putting forth a touch more effort with each kid when the Spirit prompts.  And I suppose that's a start.  I only hope it's enough.

On a less-intense note, I was able to capture some cute pictures of Zoe today.  One on one time!

Noah's Baptism

Today was a pretty special day.  This morning, Noah was baptized.  Joe took the boys camping this weekend, and it was even MY idea.  Did I stress a little about whether or not they'd make it back in time for Noah's 10am baptism?  Obviously.  But we did pretty good.  9:55am.  Were we trying to make it for 9:30-ish?  Maybe.  But when you have to feed your hungry baby right before you leave and the programs just don't want to print properly and Jackson wants to make some last minute changes to his talk, it makes the task a little difficult.  But I said a prayer the night before that no matter how chaotic things might be in the morning that I would be calm and collected so that I could enjoy the Spirit of the day.  And I think I did.  I think Noah did too in his own way.  No matter how many discussions we've had with Noah about baptism, sometimes I wonder how much he's actually getting.  I feel like my prayer was answered earlier this week when I attended a Relief Society class on child development and parenting 101.  I walked away fascinated!  It's interesting that kids get baptized at eight, right?  Why that specific age?  Aren't they still just kids?  Well, yes.  But as we were talking about brain development, she said that kids don't start to understand wrong from right until about the age of eight.  We didn't even talk about baptism, but in that moment it just kind of clicked.  My son, at the age of eight can determine right from wrong and is mature enough to make choices accordingly.  It's no wonder that at this age they truly are old enough to grasp these essential concepts of the gospel enough to be baptized and receive the Holy Ghost.  Now as I say this, don't get me wrong.  Noah is still a boy and after his actual ordinance was performed, Joe was telling me that he was hoping to have this nice Spiritual conversation with Noah in the change room.  But all Noah really wanted to do was shoot make-believe guns at Joe.  Ha!  Oh dear.  That is Noah.  I am going to chalk that up to excitement/being all boy.  Jackson gave the talk on baptism and did such a great job.  He really wanted to emphasize that the sacrament is like being baptized again and again because we remember and renew the covenants we made at baptism each week when we partake of the bread and water.  Grandpa B gave the talk on the Holy Ghost and also did a really great job on paralleling our mortal journey with going on a hike (the boys are really into camping these days, so I think he chose his analogy well).  He talked about how the Holy Ghost is our compass and the map is like the scriptures.  Ain't that the truth.  I love how the gospel works.  We ask, and Heavenly Father answers through these two tools.  The kids also sang only the best Primary song on baptism ever, "When I am Baptized" and were super cute.  What the other kids lacked in energy, Zoe made up for!  That girl is NOT shy.  Haha!  They all did a great job.

Eleanor made that cute little poster and we handed out Skittles at the end for those who came.  What was interesting about this day was that we invited our next door neighbour friend, Brody, to come and spend the day celebrating Noah's baptism.  I felt like I was constantly wondering what his thoughts were about what was happening that day.  Looking through things with a brand new lens.  I liked it, and I feel like it helped me to feel the Spirit even more.  I hope he did, too.

Afterwards, we jumped over to Jackson's piano recital.  At 11am!!!  Let's just get it all in in one day, right?  Thankfully his piano teacher had him last on the program because we showed up about fifteen minutes before he was supposed to go up.  He did a great job!  As I knew he would.  Then we met everyone over at our community Beach House for hot dogs and too much food.  At this point, the kids had already had a bag of Skittles from the baptism, and treats from the piano recital.  I didn't know how they were going to fit one more thing into their bodies, but they managed.  Although it was a sunny day and twenty degrees... it.  was.  WINDY!  Not a soft, silky breeze, but a brisk, frosty wind!  Thankfully the sun felt hotter as the afternoon wore on, making it a little more tolerable/enjoyable for those who came out.  The kids wore their swimsuits just in case, but I absolutely did not think they would swim.  In fact, I almost didn't bring any towels (last minute I grabbed ONE).  Well.  The boys all went.  And the next thing I know, Zoe is in the water up to her waist hauling buckets of water back to the shore.  With her dress still on!  That little toot.  So, needless to say, kids are crazy.

I am glad it turned out to be such a great day!  I hope that Noah will have experiences that will teach him the importance of the step he just made today.  In fact, in a quiet moment after the baptism and after everyone went home, Noah and I had a nice one on one chat on the couch.  I told him that now that he was baptized, Satan is going to try really hard to tempt him to make bad choices and that he needed to really try hard to listen to the Holy Ghost's promptings and follow them.  I also told him of an experience I had shortly after I was baptized.  A friend of mine peer pressured me into stealing candy from Mac's.  It didn't feel right, and I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I did it anyway.  And I got free candy out of it!  High!  I also ended up having to lie about it to my parents.  Low.   I did this multiple times and it started to become easy, but I never felt good about it after all the candy was gone (and that's not just because I had no more candy).  Long story short, I know that Noah is going to make mistakes, but I told him to look me in the eyes (which he did), and I told him that he can ALWAYS talk to me and his Dad if he makes a mistake and we will help him.  The last thing I want is for him to feel trapped the way I felt.  I was on a downhill spiral and I want him to know there is a way out.  There is always a way out.  That's why repentance is so amazing.  And I thank God for it every day.  That's a lie.  I DO thank God for it, and I SHOULD thank Him everyday.  But I probably just thank Him when I am thinking about it.  Like right now.  Well, I ended up getting caught, and I felt relieved.  I didn't have to lie anymore.  But I knew I was going to be in so much trouble when that police officer dropped me off at home.  I'll tell you what.  All my Mom did was send me to my room to think about it.  I cried and cried.  And this was my first real experience with repentance.  I wonder what my Mom really felt, come to think of it.  I think my heart would drop.  I think I would blame myself.  I wonder if my Mom did?  Either way, she was cool, calm and collected and knew that I just needed some Maren time to think about it and ask Heavenly Father for forgiveness.  It didn't stop there though.  I had to humble myself and pay the store owner money for all the things I had stolen.  After that, I knew I was forgiven and I felt light again.  And then I was an angel from there on out!  Ha!

Here are a few more pictures from Noah's special day.  I brought my nice camera and had the best intentions of taking some really nice pictures.  I even checked to see if it was charged the night before.  It was.  I wanted to charge it overnight just in case, but I couldn't find the charger so I banked on it having enough juice.  And then my worst nightmare happened.  It was dead in the morning.   I couldn't get one picture out of it.  Not ONE!  Ack!  So these pictures are courtesy of Granny B.

Jane at Four Months

I know I just barely posted about Jane, but I was realizing I have lots of pictures of her on my phone, and not a lot on my nice camera. So between dinner and bed time last night, I whipped out my camera and tried to capture what I could in the ten minutes the kids would give me.  And heavens, she is cute.  I think my favourites are the last two of her.  I know they are basically identical, but I couldn't choose between the two, so I just posted them both!  I also love the black and white one of her discovering her new best friend.  Her hand.  
I know she looks like a ginger in these pictures, and maybe she DOES have a little red, but I think it may have had a little something to do with the settings on my camera.  She does have some lovely auburn hair with blonde underneath growing through, so I'm not sure the red will stay, but for now, she is a little strawberry and I will take it.  Also, do not let those eyes fool you!  All of my children had this shade of blue at this age.  And they all lied to me.  So, I will not get my hopes up until she is two!

Zoe, being attached to my hip as always, was ready for her turn in front of the camera.  I love her choice of wardrobe: No clothes (as per usual), scruffy, unwashed face, stringy hair, and a grey bow placed just so at the top of her head.  Perfection.

Sandy McNabb

Last weekend we went camping as a family at Sandy McNabb.   With nine other families (Erin Olson, Brooke Gilchrist, Jenn Hendry, Alaina Johnson, Caryn Hill, Tanis Taylor, Chelsey Howarth, Jenni Bissett, and Rory Bateman brought her kids in for the day)!  Can I just say, this is the way to go!  The other way to go is borrowing your in-laws fifth wheel so that when you wake up in the middle of the night to pee, it's in a flushing toilet.  I loved that the kids could just run around with other kids.  Not once were they bored.  Older kids adopted my younger ones and there were plenty of littles to play with!  All that being said, I felt like there was just enough personal family time alongside the fun-friends time.  I wish I had taken more pictures of fire-pit time or of MY friends and not just the kids, but alas, I did not.  But I still managed to capture a million pictures.  We spent most of our time down by the river, letting the kids throw rocks or jump in.  Some of the kids even floated down the river a bit!  I could barely go in up to my thighs!  It was so icy cold!  How do kids do that?


I asked Jackson what his favourite part of camping was, and he said playing with Tyler Olson in the tent.  These kids were thick as thieves this weekend.  It was so great watching them play together.  Makes me feel like maybe all this moving hasn't broken our kids after all.  We also asked Jackson and Noah if they would rather play video games all day or go camping all weekend, and they chose camping.  Parent win.

Zoe basically had hungry bum the whole weekend.  Hungry and muddy.  And I love this pic below with Eleanor.  Josh Olson was teaching her how to skip rocks.  Oh young love.  Okay fine, maybe not.  He's twice her age, but by the time he gets back from his mission it won't matter, right?

Noah is one somber kid.  I don't know if it was the lack of sleep or what, but... yes.  Yes, it was the lack of sleep.  Worth it though.  We would put the girls down in the trailer and then let the boys stay up till 10:30 or 11.  That's when it would finally get dark enough to enjoy being around the fire pit.  One night we played "would you rather" and just talked.  It was really nice actually.  Oh.  And camping has turned Noah into a pryo.

Our first morning, the boys popped their heads in to ask if they could go to the park which was just down the road (Joe had to go to work during the day on Friday so it was just me with the kids). I told the boys that they could but that the girls would have to wait until I woke up, so they turned on a movie for the girls (Jane was up at 5:30am so I was BEAT). Well. An hour and a half later I hear the trailer door open and close.  So I finally roll out of bed to see the movie playing for NO ONE in the trailer!!  I poke my head outside to see Zoe ready to run down the road.  Oh my heck!  Yes.  They were at the park all morning, unattended by a parent.  And Zoe managed to walked back to the trailer from the park all by herself!  ALL BY HERSELF!  I was freaking out a little, but managed to keep my cool.  Kind of.  Before we left for the weekend my Mom was like, "don't lose anyone!"  Well.  Whoops.  At least she found the right camp site.  Wandering around by herself!  Man, I felt like a terrible Mom.  Thankfully when I walked down the road to check on Eleanor and the boys, there were other Mom friends there with their kids.  All weekend kind of turned out to be like that.  I basically hardly saw my kids the entire time because they were playing.  It took a lot of trust and self control to not worry.  But I kind of did it, and it was a good time.  The other mornings, the kids found this hammock to be more fun than the park.    The next day, we went back to the river where the boys were even more daring with their water stunts and Zoe became even more muddy.

With all the lack of sleep, the kids zonked pretty good every night.  Even sometimes during quiet moments of the day.  I could have used another day of camping, quite frankly.  It was hard trying to fit everything in while trying to relax.  The boys built a fort with some of the Dads.  And by "the boys built a fort" I mean, the Dads built it.  Haha!  But the boys found all the wood.  I wish I had a pic of the final project.  It was pretty sweet.  I brought my guitar and we had a family sing-along.  It might have been mildly forced and Joe may have looked a little pained by having to endure such things as singing campfire songs like Edelweisse and Rose, but he did it.  And the kids liked it.  And so did I.  It's just part of camping people!  The sooner Joe understands that, the better.  I think one of the things I loved best was sitting around the camp fire with just Joe one night and talking about our family.  Concerns.  Things we are proud of with our kids.  Then the boys joined us and it was just us four.  Talking and eating s'mores.  I loved it.  And then of course the campfire nights with our friends was a blast as well!  All in all, it was a great camping experience.  Did I lose a ton of sleep because Jane didn't feel like sleeping that weekend?  Yes.  But it was worth it (and she still managed to be a pretty happy baby thankfully).  And we are doing it again next weekend.  I hope the kids aren't super bored with it being just our family!  The bar has been set high....