Remember

Remember.  It is what I am the LEAST good at these days.  But on the occasion, I am asked to remember.  Remember the birth dates of my children.  Remember to pick up a child at a friend's house.  Remember that I have a doctor's appointment.  Today a friend of mine told a story about how she was walking around a track at her gym and in the middle of the track was an area where she watched young gymnasts participate in their class.  The little four year olds would fall down and be able to jump right back up, arms in the air.  It didn't matter if they landed their jumps perfectly.  They just bounced right back up.  And then she noticed another class beside them that was a little older.  There was one young girl in particular who was definitely more aware of her surroundings and that people were watching her.  Perhaps a little insecure.  She didn't quite land one of her jumps and when her coach encouraged her to try again, she declined and chose to sit on the sidelines.  My friend wanted to tell her to get right back up like those four year olds!  Don't let one mis-step allow you to stop!  She eventually did get back out there with the help of a loving coach who took her face in her hands and encouraged her to try again.  She landed her jump.  So many ways to parallel this story, but the point that my friend was trying to get across had more to do with learning how to listen to the Holy Ghost.  When we are young, we have all the faith in the world that God hears us and is going to answer our prayers, no problem.  When my son Jackson prays that he is going to find his snake that has escaped, he KNOWS that God is going to answer his prayer.  And you know what?  God does.  He has a few times actually.  Thankfully.  (Will that darn snake just stay in her cage?!).  When you get older, life happens and you get jaded by this and that experience.  Sometimes you pray and the answer doesn't come right away or in the way that you want it and we are supposed to call it "God's will."  Some people have a problem with this.  Sometimes I do because I am a human being and I don't understand God's will all the time.  I know He wants me to be happy though and I have faith in that.  If I look back and REMEMBER the experiences I've had where in the thick of it, it flat out stunk, I can honestly say I've grown into a better person because of those super hard times.  One of those experiences was when two of my sisters and their families left the church about two years ago.  It made me crazy sad.  I was so upset and couldn't understand why God wouldn't just reveal himself in the way I wanted Him to.  I know that our church doesn't have a monopoly on happiness and that they indeed can find joy in their own journeys, but it's hard when it's not MY journey for them.  Really, truly hard.  This is life!  People have choices!  This is God's plan right?  In these two years I have looked outside of my bubble.  I have learned to appreciate and respect other people's beliefs even if they aren't my own.  I have learned how to love unconditionally.  I know people have their reasons for leaving the church.  I am the first to say that I do not have all the answers.  But what I do know is that the Book of Mormon is true.  So when I feel lost in all the little tiddy-bitties of information that I may not understand (which may or may not be true.  Surely some of it is and some of it isn't), I can REMEMBER the times when I have felt the enlightening feeling of the Holy Ghost touching my heart and opening my mind as I have read the Book of Mormon (how many times in the scriptures are we asked to remember!  REMEMBER!).  I know the Book of Mormon is true.  And because of that, all else falls into place for me.  Enough to put unanswered questions on the shelf until after this life.  Why do good people die?  Or babies?  Why do people in Florida have to wear garments?  Or the list goes on.  I know God is not a genie.  Sometimes I wish He was.  But because He is not, there is faith that is required.  And that is what I choose.  Faith.  Whenever I feel the least bit "floaty" I try to reevaluate what my scripture study and prayers look like.  If they stink, I touch it up a notch and I notice a difference in how unwavering I am in my faith and testimony of the gospel and how little and inconsequential my "floaty" thoughts are.  (Serving in Primary kind of strips it all down for you, which I love.  Let's keep it simple!).  I write these experiences down because I don't want to forget what the gospel means to me and how it has affected my life for good.  I don't want to forget that I am a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father.  I don't want to forget that He sent His son to die for me.  I don't want to forget the feelings of overwhelming love when I listen to the prophet and apostles speak truth, or when I listen to beautifully written music about the Saviour.  I don't want to forget the feelings I have right now of the Spirit confirming to me that what I am currently writing is true.

I want to remember.

Jane at 6 Months

This girl.  I must have caught Jane in a somber mood because she was not going to give me any smiles today.  I did, however, capture a few really sweet faces that remind me how lucky I am to have this little lump in my life.  If ever anyone was doubting (Joe) that Jane's eye colour would keep, I think we can be rest assured by the following pictures.  They are, indeed, blue.  Actually, just this week, Joe finally deduced/admitted that Jane's eyes might actually stay blue.  But not a pure blue like the Burnhams.  "Ord" blue, which I will happily take.  At least she got something from my side.  This girl is all Burnham.  Well.  A very petite Burnham.  She just got her vaccinations this week and is weighing in at just under 15 pounds.  She went from the 15th percentile to the 25th (thank you solids), so at least she is thriving!  Height is still 50th and head circumference is still 75th percentile.  You would never tell from these pictures, but she is the happiest of babies.  Always willing to send a smile your way.  Always, except for this morning in front of the camera.  She seems to only cry when I have been nursing her for an eternity right before a nap or bed time and she has obviously fallen asleep sucking but does not want to part with me and I pull her off.  Her teeny little cry is the sweetest thing I have ever heard!  Well.  Sweeter still would be her cooing.  I'd say some of my favourite moments with her are in the morning.  She usually wakes up around 7am or so and I bring her back to my bedroom and lay her down beside me to nurse her.  She will suck for an hour sometimes, and I am so used to it so I am usually able to fall back asleep.  When she is ready to fully wake up, she will lay there and "talk" with me and grab at my face with her soft tiny hands.  It is a dream, just me and her (and sometimes Joe if he hasn't already left for the day).  I just cannot get enough of this girl!  It makes my heart ache I love her so much.  Her latest thing is the sucking of her bottom lip.  Zoe did the same thing at this age and I couldn't be more thrilled that Jane also does this because it is insanely adorable.  Aside from me and every member of our family, her jolly jumper is her best friend.  Also, her toes.  She loves to grab them and try to bring them to her mouth.  She is also rolling all over the place.  Which means she is also always rolling all over her crib so I am constantly checking on her to make sure she isn't stuck in a corner or doesn't have her leg through the bars or doesn't have a blanket over her head that she can't quite rip off.  Sheesh child!  Not quite sitting on her own just yet.  If I am being honest, I haven't really spent the time working on that with her.  Too busy trying to have a fun Summer with all the kiddos.  That being said, she has gotten quite used to being lugged around wherever we go!  Nap time or not, she comes!  And whether or not she decides to sleep on our outings and for how long is completely up to her.  But generally when she is awake, on sleep or no sleep, she is a pretty happy camper.  Thank goodness.  Makes leaving the house with all five children feel not so mountainous.  I love you, my blondie-blue Jane-arang.

Fun. Free. Four.

Originally we had plans to take Zoe to Calaway Park with the fam to celebrate this little girl's fourth birthday.  But as we already happened to be in Lacombe and as it was also Sebastian's birthday the same week as well, we threw together the best family birthday party a kid could ask for!  Abbey Centre outdoor pool here we come!  Granny and Grandpa brought Subs for dinner and the best chocolate cake I have ever tasted (thank you Colette!).  We super lucked out with the weather, too.  Hot.  Hot.  HOT!  Couldn't have been more perfect.  Well.  Actually.  If Joe could have taken a half day to help me, that would have been perfect.  For a good three hours, Tarilyn and I had our eight kids just between the two of us and it was a little choatic at times, but I think we handled it well.  No one drowned, so I'm going to call that a win.  With our lake access, Zoe has become a little more of a fish this Summer and is getting more and more brave.  Her bravery has limits though.  She did NOT want to go down the slide.  I kind of made her the first time and I may have forced her on my lap while she screamed bloody murder (I'm a great Mom), but after the first go she couldn't get enough.  Ha!  Sometimes it just takes a little nudge.  Or a large one.  I would have taken more pictures, but I was literally in the pool with children making sure they didn't drown the whole time.  (Fun fact/confession:  Children aren't the only ones who pee in pools).

Happy birthday Zoe!  I am excited to see what four will be like for you.  It is often the age that produces the cutest of quotes, making four easily the most adorable age.  I am looking forward to what you will have to say.  Age three gave me potty words, toot noises, and the words, "Dumb" and "DUH!"  It sprang forth attitude, sass, and a good measure of tears.  But it also gave me endless cuddles, squishy hands, and silly faces.  It demanded huggies and kissies every night.  It gave me pride as I watched you ride a bicycle with training wheels and float on your own with a life jacket for the first time.  It gave me perfectly red kissable lips and a chicklet-toothy smile to adore.  It gave me endless entertainment as I watched your hungry bum swallow your swimsuit whole.  It gave me book after book to read on our many trips to the library.  It gave me a bitter-sweet level of separation as I watched you learn how to cling to your Sunbeam teachers instead of me.  It traded your curly locks for straight.  It gave me hours of "Paw Patrol," "Peppa Pig," "Bubble Guppies," and "Sponge Bob Square Pants" every afternoon during Mommy's very special and necessary quiet-time.  It gave me an enthusiastic helper in the kitchen particularly when it came to Macaroni and Cheese, banana bread, and chocolate chip cookies.  It gave me "multi-toots" of impressive artwork of me and you and dad and cats that there was never enough fridge space for.  Above all, it gave me endless opportunities to laugh instead of cry.

Zoe, you are a treasure in our family and it is truly hard to believe you are now a four year old.  It is bitter-sweet to watch you grow, because I think you get funnier with age, AND more fun, but I hate to see you change so quickly.  You are a sweet big sister to Jane.  You are constantly in her face trying to kiss her or pet her or make her laugh or make her talk to you, especially when I am trying to nurse her.  You always seem to know when I am trying to put her down for a nap because you are in her room right beside her rocking chair, usually climbing all over it as you say in your best mimic Mom voice, "Oh!  Little Jane-ay!"  You are also a great little sister.  When Eleanor is not complaining about how you called her "dumb" or how you are keeping her awake at night and making her feel "hyper," you are often playing legos together or drawing at the table together, or playing "family" together with your stuffies.  It will be a sad day to see her go to school all day, every day this Fall with her starting grade one.  Jackson and Noah are your buds and can't say no to you when you ask for help or "need" a treat from the treat cupboard.  Essentially, it's because you're too cute.  Yes, you know how to work it.  We are all wrapped around your chubby little finger.

Oh my little Zo-melia.  I love you.  Love, love, love you!  The happiest of birthdays to my sassy little girl.

Biking Beauties

These biking beauties reached some new heights this Summer.  Zoe is riding her very first bicycle (with training wheels) and that's all she wants to do.  But not as intensely as Eleanor wants to ride her TWO wheeler!  Training wheels off!  I probably could have taken them off a while ago, (she was certainly ready for it) but with a new babe it just wasn't high on the list.  Plus, she was riding her bike to school without me (with the boys) and I didn't want to mess up a good thing.  The girls LOVE riding around the block.  And I do too.  We tried to have our very first family bike ride (sans Joe and Jane) on Saturday to clean the church.  Let me just say, it would have been faster to walk there than bike.  Zoe was a little unsure as this was her first venture outside our block.  Anytime we would start going the tiniest bit fast at all, she would slam on her breaks.  We had a few mishaps, but I'd say all in all it was a good start all things considering.  My neighbour across the alley noticed all of us getting on our bikes about to take off and had her own thoughts on the matter.  That being, I'm crazy to take all of these kids out on a bike ride.  Haha!  If I can do Costco, I can do this.  Eventually it will become fun but we have to start somewhere!  Proud of these girls.

Silver Fox is 36

Yesterday was Joe's 36th birthday. It was also Sunday. Kind of makes for tough birthday planning, but we did manage a date on Saturday.  After spending a lazy afternoon at the beach (Bobby and Nicole's gang were even able to meet up with us for part of the day), our plan was to bike around Okotoks and find a yummy place to eat.  And then it started to rain.  We should have known better.  It's been doing this for a few weeks now off and on.  So, we ended up doing dinner and a movie instead.  No complaints here.  In fact, we discovered this super yummy East Indian restaurant called, "Spices."  You have to know, I'm not really an Indian food lover, but last night proved me so wrong!  My bowels may have complained a little, but it was worth it.  And thankfully they got all of their complaining done before our movie started!

Joe went ahead and made life a little easier for me by buying his own gift.  He's been looking at getting a pontoon for a while now.  They went on sale at Costco, so it only seemed fitting that that was what he needed to take home for his birthday.  He rarely spoils himself, so I was happy to let him go for it.  He takes his first river float with it today.  Buying gifts for Joe is super stressful.  So I was happy to not have to buy something that he had to pretend to like.  I feel like I need to put all this time and energy into a creative gift, when usually all he wants are gadgets that I don't know the names of.  I was worried that since I didn't have a tangible gift to give him on his actual birthday that it wouldn't feel special, but I think that when you get to be old folks like us, all you really want is a solid nap and to not have to lift a finger (unless you want to).  I feel like I succeeded there.  I made him his Mom's cheese cake (victory), and did dinner prep, minus the steaks... Joe didn't trust me with those.  Haha!  I also cleaned up the kitchen so he could relax and respond to all the loving family members that wanted to wish him a happy birthday.  The kids and I made him some cards and that was about it!  Happy Birthday?  I always worry about making each birthday special, so I hope he felt special this year because gosh darn it, he is.

Thank you for having a birthday Joe.  You're a pretty great guy and I am super lucky to have you.  Joe just switched jobs recently and is working for/with his Dad (Stem Cell Clinics) which means he has to travel to Lacombe quite a lot over the next several months.  I didn't realize how much I had been spoiled this year with him being home for dinner most every night, or snuggling on the couch to a movie or show, and honestly, just having him beside me in bed at night.  It can be lonely when your hubs is gone three days out of the week.  But it makes our time together that much more quality.  I have only cried once quietly about it, and I think that's pretty good considering he is also in the bishopric and is just as not-here when he's "home."  The point I was trying to make is, this whole distance thing is certainly making my heart grow fonder.  Each moment we spend together is sacred and special.  Even if it's just sitting on the couch together at the end of a long day.  This guy works hard so we can enjoy our life, and I am super proud of him for the service he gives in the church.  He's thoughtful and sacrifices a lot to make sure our family is happy.  Rarely do I see him down, as he is usually trying to make people laugh.  And even when he is down, he doesn't let it ruin everyone else's vibe (I'm terrible for that).  Honestly, I have a top notch guy.  Love you Joe.