Tucker's First Birthday!

 Fun fact: Tucker's birthday is on Noah's due date.  May 22nd!  Another fun fact, I had my first workshop for "The Gardener - A Musical" on the evening of Tucker's first birthday.  And with Noah and Grandpa's birthdays, this was a bit of a busy week!  But I think we still made it a special day!  We got some special toys and treats for Tucker, one of them being an ice cream from DQ!

I think he liked it.  Haha!  Honestly, if you would have told me this time last year that I would have a dog---and like it---I would have said you were crazy!  But I am so glad that Tucker came into our lives.  I love him more than my kids!  He is my snuggle-buddy every night (and also any chance I might be sitting down during the day).  He also forces me to get my vit D and walk every day!  And now that he is catching on to manners and recall and not leash pulling, having a dog is pretty much the best!  We just need to get him to stop chewing on things he's not supposed to!  Other than that, I feel like we have arrived at this dog-thing!  Tucker has made me go from a dog-tolerating person, to a Mom who loves her dog so much she can't help but post weekly (sometimes daily) pictures of him like an annoying crazy dog-Mom person!  I love you Tucker and I'm glad you are a part of our family!  You have brought us together like no one else could have!  Happy Birthday!

Noah's Covid Birthday

 When this all started back in March, Noah asked me if he thought he would have to have a Covid birthday.  I said, "No way!  Not a chance!"  I said this with all the sincerity a parent could muster because Noah's birthday is at the end of May!  Well.  I was wrong.  The Covid restrictions are here and they are here to stay!  So we asked Noah if he would rather have a big party when this is all over or if he'd rather us spend the money on a gift and that would be his birthday.  He went for the gift!  Since Noah's birthday fell on a Sunday this year we decided to celebrate a little party for him during the week.  It just so happened to be the rainiest day in the history of ever, making his birthday extra-covidy.  I took Noah out to Wendy's for lunch.  It was Drive-thru only so we ate in the car.  All of his fries fell on the floor.  It was timely because we were just having a conversation about how not-so-great and weird it is to have a birthday during covid.  Fries.  Floor.  Haha!  He still ate them.  One of the conversations we had was about Jake Paralta from the show, "Brooklyn 99," having tips in his hair and how Noah thought it might be cool to have tips.  So guess what we did?  We went to the store and bought some hair dye!  Covidy-times call for Covidy measures.

Noah asked for either an angel food cake or donuts.  Jackson actually made his cake while we were out and he did a great job.  I asked Noah what he was most excited about for his birthday and he said, "to have Will Moore over."  I told Noah since he wasn't having a big party he could invite ONE friend over as long as they were smart and social distanced, so he invited Will.  This was the first time any of the kids have had friends over since Covid started, so this was a massive deal!  We had pizza, ate treats and we let them have the basement to watch a movie and play video games and visit.  A rainy day turned out to be not-so-rainy after all.

That weekend, we also went to Granny and Grandpa's house where people were not-so-careful about social distancing!  Haha!  Noah was in dog-heaven with Bitsy and the neighbour's dog, Triggs.  Noah and Grandpa B share the same birthday, so we made the trip to Lacombe to celebrate as a family.  Thankfully the weekend was MUCH nicer than Noah's rainy party, so we enjoyed lots of outdoor time!

Noah's gift from Granny and Grandpa.  And maybe they DID swim in the pond.  In May.  It was freezing.

We also set up the slip and slide.  So much fun!

Here are all the girl cousins.   What a reunion!

I just have to say something about this picture.  Noah is such a tender-heart.  He played with Jane on this trampoline for EVER!  It was so sweet to watch them play together.  He's not too old or too cool for his little sisters.

Such a pretty weekend!

Sunday walk with Grandpa! 

Not the most Covidy-walk, but hey! We made masks!

And finally, after it was all over, we finally broke open the hair dye kit and dyed Noah's hair.  To be honest, I didn't really know what I was doing, but Noah was thrilled.  And although it wasn't a massive change, I'm just glad I didn't wreck his hair.

The reveal!  He loved it.  I wish I had vide of Noah looking at himself in the mirror and feeling super pleased with how he looked.  I guess this picture will have to suffice.

Happy Birthday Noah!  I can't believe you are already TWELVE!  You have really come out of your shell this year.  There was a Covid-Style Stake Talent Show last month and I thought for sure you would be too shy to submit something, but you did!  Those participating in the Stake submitted a video of one of their talents and then people could watch via zoom on the following Friday evening from their  homes.  You submitted a video of you doing a bunch of different ping-pong ball trick shots.  You did some super creative editing and some pretty sweet shots too.  It's was pretty awesome actually, and you won in your category.  I've also seen you excel in school and since I have to be way more hands on, I get to see some of the assignments you are handing in.  For one of them you had to create a cartoon about a book you read as a class.  It was hilarious!  Even your teacher specifically emailed me to say how proud they were of you and your work.  Not only was it informative and well put together, but it was also really funny!  And now I seem to catch you making more and more YouTube videos---not school or talent-show related, but just for fun.  What creativity you have!  I've really noticed your confidence improve and your kindness really show.  I watch you play with your sisters (right now, Lego is your thing with the girls) and I love it.  I love seeing you create stronger bonds with your sisters.  I do sometimes wonder if this would happen if Covid wasn't a thing and your siblings were your only choice, but I like to think it would.  And in the evenings, you and I and Jackson and Dad watch movies together (sometimes with Ellie too).  We get treats and laugh and spend lots of lazy evening time together and I love it.  Sometimes we even play board games if we have the energy!  I love this time with you.  I love seeing you get competitive in games and when you win, it's so cute to see you celebrate!  Yes, we are missing baseball this year, but I haven't heard one complaint from you about it.  In fact, I haven't heard any complaints at all from all the things we are missing due to Covid.  You are just making the best of it and taking each day at a time.  Thank you for your example Noah!  Earlier today, Dad was talking about the different characteristics that each of us have, and the thing that stands out the most about you is your ability to be a gentle and tender person.  You are loving and kind to your family (for the most part).  Right now I can hear you running around with your sisters.  I believe it is some sort of chasing game.  And watching you around Tucker (and any animal for that matter) shows me how much you love God's creatures.  I hope that tenderness will always stick.  You no longer hold my hand, but you still give me the best hugs and I will hold on to that for as long as I can.  I love you Noah.  Happy Birthday!

Keeping Sane During Spring and Summer Covid

Covid Update:  Parks are open.  This is a huge step with Covid having taken over our lives since March.  We have been very good at isolating up to this point (still are).  Mostly because the govt has made it easy.  Everything is CLOSED!   And now with parks open, it just feels like a part of our lives are back.  Maybe Summer isn't cancelled after all.  The beach is also opened.  Still no luck on finding a trampoline or basketball hoop in our price range.  Kind of hoping that would add a little more excitement around having to spend our Summer at home.  Campsites are also open with restrictions... if you can book a site!  This Summer is going to be a little weird.  Here are a few things we're been doing to keep sane during this strange and difficult time:

First time at the park last week.

The beach!  There are covid restrictions (one family per picnic table), so I was a little worried we wouldn't get in, but it was pretty empty when we came last week.  Not sure how long that will last with warmer weather coming in every day, but grateful we can enjoy a huge part of our Summer right here in Okotoks.

 

 

Fires in the backyard fire pit while also telling ghost stories (and snuggling Tucker in a sleeping bag).  We had just finished up a huge day of yard work, so this was a welcomed evening!  Yard work has also been a massive part of our lives (maybe just Joe and I mostly, but it's been fun having projects and actually getting them done)!

We bought a slip and slide.  It was two feet long and pretty lame.  Nothing like Granny's.  At least Jane liked it?

With the weather getting nicer and things loosening up a bit around parks, we have been taking more trips to the Dog Park.  We've also learned that Tucker responds really well to his shock collar.  It has three settings.  One is the sound of a beep, the other is a vibration, and the third is the actual shock.  We have been training him to stay in our yard because it has no fence---which sucks when you have a hound for a dog.  We have only had to shock him a few times on a very low setting and now he responds to just the beep.  It is WONDERFUL and opens up worlds for us.  Including actually enjoying the dog park off leash!   He now has recall so Noah can stop having heart attacks every time Tucker runs too far.  Look at that dorky smile!  I love Tucker so much.

 We have had three whole months of indoors.  No one is walking or biking to school or having recess or gym class and this last week I started to feel like I needed to take our health and habits more seriously.  And honestly, with the weather getting nicer, it's easy to do.  I'd be lying if I said this was my idea though.  It all started with the boys saying they wanted to be ripped by the end of the year.  And since Sarah has given me program after program, I was riddled with ideas of exactly how they could accomplish this.  Then the girls decided they wanted to join in.  No complaints or anything!  At least not yet.  It's only been one week!  I have been really impressed with them, too.  I make them do hard things!  The problem is, if I expect them to do hard things, I ALSO have to do hard things.  Every morning, whether I feel like it or not!  It has been a great way to get my butt in gear as well.  I have been doing the bear minimum, so this has been good for me.  I guess.  We are definitely earning our slurpee nights!

Playing piano has been a great way to keep something consistent in our lives.  Jackson has actually been really good at being the teacher on days when I feel overwhelmed.  I just add it to the chore chart and it gets done.  It's been great hearing these kids continue to progress in their piano skills!  But this picture isn't about playing piano.  It's about hugging it out on the piano bench!  Haha!  Jane has learned how to say, "I hate you you."  And I really DISLIKE that word.  My Mom would always say, "don't say 'hate,' say, 'dislike!'"  But Jane doesn't give two rips.  She says it a lot.  And in this particular moment, she had said it to Noah.  So, I made them hug it out on the piano bench for a whole minute.  They haven't fought since, so I'd say forced hugging was a success.  But I guess not really since Jane just told me yesterday that she hated me for getting after her for cutting her own hair.  Sheesh.  That girl.

And on those rainy days, there is always art!  I am pretty sure this was an assignment, so maybe this picture doesn't count, but I think it should because Jackson spent HOURS on this and was so proud to be finished.  I love how much my kids love to spend time in their sketch books.

And then of course, so much time has been all about home schooling.  We are finally getting into a rhythm and thankfully at weeks 11-12, we are at the home stretch!  Two weeks left.  This is looking possible.  The thought of possibly doing this again in September makes me feel a little sick.  At this point, it's still a possibility.  The other two possibilities are back to school regular-styles (which I doubt but hope to goodness for) and a blended version of the two, which would be very interesting.  For now, we can look forward to Summer.  Well, a Summer without school!  I don't know how exciting it will be with so much of life shut down and with Joe continuing to work intense hours to save the clinic.  But, we will figure it out.  Things could have been so much worse.  Baby steps back to real life I guess.  I hope.

A Break

Waterton.  Such a beautiful place so close to home!  When Meghann invited me to go hiking with her and a group of girls, I didn't know if I could.  Not because I didn't want to.  No.  It had more to do with leaving Joe with the kids during all of this Covid stress.  Joe made me go.  He said I haven't had a break since all of this started, and he would be right.  It has been stress after stress and I have taken zero time to refuel and recover.  It's funny because though I love each one of these girls and have known them for years (aside from Courtney, Tamara's daughter-in-law whom I met in the car!), we have never done something like this together, so it was a bit new.  I didn't know what the dynamic would be and we would be with each other for 24 hours.  Whelp.  I didn't overthink it!  I figured I'm never going to know what it might be like until I go and do it.  So, I did.  Last week we all got in a car and went to Waterton.  It wasn't technically open to visitors, but if you are a resident, you could come.  Thankfully for us, Meghann was!  So, it was essentially ghost town while we were there!  No one walking the streets.  No one on the trails.  No shops open.  It was... weird.  But also really peaceful... when I wasn't thinking about how this would be the perfect setting for a zombie attack.  We hiked Bertha on Thursday, stayed the night, then hiked part-way to Red Rock Canyon the next day.  Spending this kind of time with women like this was just what I needed.  We laughed and cried together.  And thankfully didn't get eaten by any bears.  Or zombies.

So close to my parents!  Borders are still closed due to Covid.  I miss you Mom and Dad!

On our drive home, we stopped in Raymond because Tamara's father is buried there and his new headstone was put in (it was a bench actually, which I thought was really neat).  One thing that really stood out to me that day was something she said.  "Don't let pettiness get in the way of family relationships.  It's just dumb."  And I agree.  I have had a tough relationship with my sister, Karen, for years.  About four months ago she told me that she didn't want me in her life anymore.  This is difficult because though we are not best friends, I'm still not sure what I did to hurt her so badly.  This has been six years in the making.  Maybe even more.  My understanding is that she is hurt that she doesn't have the kind of relationship that I have with Sarah and Jenny.  She told us six years ago that we weren't to blame, she just wished she had that with Rachel and Shannon.  When this was known to us, I made more of an effort to open up and invited her to more things.  I wasn't living in Calgary at the time, but I did my best.  And when I moved here, I did invite her out.  But she closed up and decided from that point that she did not want to be in my life.  I couldn't understand why she kept saying no.  When I would ask her about her life and family at family gatherings, I started to notice that she never asked me about my life or family.  She didn't seem to care.  At first I thought this was all in my head.  But then four months ago, she validated all of my confusions and wonderings and let me know that I was spot on in my wonderings.  She was trying to remove herself from me and she no longer wanted me in her life.  I still don't really get why and I still don't think that cutting me out of her life is a reasonable response to whatever pain she may be feeling.   But she does.  Please understand I have nine siblings and only have this kind of tight relationship with two (Sarah and Jenny) and this is ONLY because they reciprocate.  We are closer in age, we have lived by each other most of our lives, and we have gone through hard things together that have really bonded us.  I want a relationship with them and they want a relationship with me.  The rest of my siblings I love and enjoy.  We try to get together with each other when we can at extended family-gatherings or special occasions, but outside of that, we aren't super tight.  And that's okay!  We all have children of our own and lives of our own.  Somehow, I am being targeted out of our nine siblings as the one to hate for it.  Sarah and Jenny have not extended half of the invitations I have extended to Karen.  But they are not in trouble for it.  Why am I being targeted?  I have gone from accepting that this is just who Karen is, to what would Christ do, to hating her, to loving her.  Well, after we left the Cemetery I thought to myself, Karen needs to know that I at least love her.  No matter what's going on, it needs to be said.  I know that the words won't make everything better, but they needed to be said.  I didn't know how she would respond to my text because honestly, it's just really hard to know.  I spent a lot of time writing and rewriting what I wanted to say.  But I kept it short and simple.  I told her I was thinking of her and that I loved her.  She didn't respond for a few days.  Then one day I got the text, "I love you too."  I'm glad that was her response.  What will come of this?  I'm not sure.  But I do know that it's a start in the right direction.  I do wish we could understand each other better.  I do wish the expectations weren't so high.  I do wish there was less jumping to conclusions and more love.  But for right now, at least I know there's a part of her that loves me back.  And this was all thanks to this wonderful crew of women who invited me on a trip to Waterton.

L-R: Me, Kelly Moore, Tamara Grigor, Courtney Grigor, Meghann Clements, Tami Doney.

Writing "The Gardener - A Musical"

 This is what writing a musical AND being a Mom looks like!  Haha!  The day after Feather Pen was over, the creative side of me was bursting!  I had just spent MONTHS organizing and directing.  I was eating and breathing Feather Pen (which I loved and enjoyed every second of---except for the stuff I didn't love and enjoy.  Haha!), so by the time it had ended I was SO ready to write again.  The day after Feather Pen, I didn't even pretend to want a break from musical theatre.  I just started writing.  It started with the song (which is currently titled), "More Time Reprise."  I had the general idea of the plot in my mind and had even written out each scene-by-scene synopsis before sitting at the piano.  I vowed to not delve too far into writing the music because I end up having these workshops that wipe away certain ideas.  And when those ideas no longer exist, many good and worthy songs no longer exist!  Sometimes this is for the better, and sometimes those songs just end up getting re-worked and become better versions of themselves.  But sometimes?  they just go in the garbage.  It gets easier to do, but I thought I would approach this a little differently and hold a majority of my workshops before writing and scoring all the songs.  I couldn't help (surprise!) it and three months into writing I have seven songs and am on draft nine of my script.  I don't know.  Music really is such a big part of the flow of the play, it's hard not to write the songs.  The musical theme is a big part of the feel of the play.  Also, songs often take time to write (depending on the intricacy of the song), so to expect me to write them at the END when I finally have the "perfect plot" written out just didn't seem reasonable to me.  I held my first workshop two weeks ago via zoom with six of the best people I know;  Ben Grunewald, Chris Beazely, Jayna Butler, Tyler Foley, Tim Korthuis, Chelsea Friesen (and Whitney Smith wasn't able to join, but she read my script and gave me feedback as well).  All of these people are incredible at what they do and what floors me is that they are all volunteering their time and they keep saying yes to me!  I had to force myself to take some time away from the script so that I could come back to it with a fresh brain.  It has been TWO weeks.  And I am dying to write again.  I am usually not on the couch with my laptop because the obvious happens.  I think in this instance Covid home-school got in the way.  Usually I plan to write for 2-4 hours in the afternoon in the privacy of my office.  The kids have been really good about me needing this time to write and have been pretty good about giving me my space and not knocking on the door.  Well, everyone but Jane.  She doesn't give two rips if she's interrupting me or not.  She comes in every day to touch my chair and check in with me.  And eat me treats.  Haha!  And Tucker?  Well, he never leaves my side.  He usually sleeps at my feet in my office.  In this instance, he chose my laptop.  These two often make it very difficult to write....  Give me TWO WEEKS in a cabin in the woods all by myself with no distractions or lurking murderers and I could be done by now.

Tender Mercies at The Temple

  Last Sunday we had made plans with Alysha and Jordana's family to meet at the temple and have "church."  We weren't planning to do the sacrament there, but we planned for a couple youth talks and Ellie and Zoe planned a musical number.  Well, the morning came and it was raining.  SO RAINY!  I had zero faith that meeting up was still a good idea.  Jordana would be driving in from Olds and my family would be driving almost an hour as well.  How awful to have our plans be disrupted by nasty rain!  I was ready to call it off and reschedule but when I saw that Alysha and Jordana were both in, I thought, "well, why not!"  We packed coats and umbrellas and blankets and hoped for the best.  Alysha's last text to us was, "pray that the rain stops for just long enough for us to do this!"  A part of me felt like, "who cares if it rains on us or not when babies die."  I know that's a very extreme thought, but it did make me think that having a rainless meeting was insignificant.  But then the thought came to me that no prayer is insignificant to my Heavenly Father.  If it rains, then it rains.  But if I don't pray at all, then perhaps an opportunity to increase my faith in God and his awareness of me (small as it might be) might be wasted.

Well.  It rained the entire car-ride.  My faith was definitely mustard-seed sized, but I suppose it was enough because the moment we pulled into the parking lot of the temple, it stopped raining.  The rain stopped just long enough for us to meet, share talks and thoughts, sing songs of Christ and pray.  As we ended our meeting the temple president happened to see us and opened the gates (that have been closed due to Covid restrictions).  So, not only did we get to enjoy a rain-free Sabbath meeting, we also got to walk around the grounds.  It just started drizzling as we were packing up to leave.  It was a lovely lesson to me that no prayer is insignificant if it increases our faith in God and his awareness of me. And mine was most certainly increased.

 Jordana Fitzner, Alysha Sladek and Me.

Jane kept finding worms on the temple grounds.  Very righteous worms.