The Princess is Four

I loved today. For so many reasons. Not only did Joe's parents fly out to be with us for a week, and not only did Ellie turn four, but I made it my mission today to spend real quality time with just her. And it was great. I feel like for the first time in a long time I really got to know my daughter. Ellie's been a bit of a puzzle to me for the past year and a half and I feel like just recently we've come to a place in our relationship that I am just loving. This morning I took Ellie to her favourite drop-in play place and instead of sitting on a chair or chasing Zoe around, I played with her. I molded play dough with her. I got on my bum and sat down on the floor with her. I did all the actions with her during circle-music time. It was just so refreshing. It was so nice to have it be just her and I. Of all the kids I think she is the one who gets the most lost in the mix. Jackson and Noah are in school so I have to spend time with them reading or helping with assignments, etc. I am forced to have one on one time with them in that way. And Zoe is just at a demanding age so she gets a lot of attention. But Ellie. She just quietly exists. Sometimes, not so quietly. And I realized today how special it was to have that time with JUST US. I know Joe takes each child on a daddy-daughter/son date every month, but I think I might benefit from those too. It was just so nice to play and watch her shine in her element. Then after play place, we went home to be with Granny and Grandpa and visit and then we decorated cupcakes together. I also let her open a gift early, which was her very own pre-Kindergarten work book. And I sat down with her and helped her figure out what she needed to do on each page. I used to do that with the boys and Ellie is beyond ready for something like this.  I loved seeing her so happy. She really is a sun-shiney and pleasant girl when she is feeling loved and is given a little attention. And as it was her birthday today, I was happy to give that to her. I think what today taught me was that I need to spend less time worrying about how tidy and nice my house looks or how on top of things I am, and just cherish a few moments a day with each child.  I feel like that a lot actually.  Hard to accomplish sometimes.  Not my first time talking about this.  Ha!  A Mom recently made the comment to me about how she wanted to stop at two children because she wanted to make sure she KNEW them. Well. I can't tell you how much that bothered me. Not that she only wanted two kids.  But that she thought that if she had more she wouldn't "know" her kids.  It was mildly hurtful because I have more than two.  And I don't feel done at four, and most days I feel way in over my head, but I'm not sure that I feel like I don't KNOW my kids. I suppose what she meant was that she wanted to make sure she spent every day like I did with Ellie today, just cherishing this one child all day long. To be honest, I'm not sure that's totally realistic or healthy because a child needs to grow and learn how to play on their own and exist without a parent hovering over them to a degree. But obviously, we had two different opinions on that. But I will say to that effect, that I think that although I feel busy with four kids and all that comes with it, I think spending more quality time with each one would significantly add to my happiness and theirs. Maybe that's all this Mom was trying to say and she just managed to say it in the most tactless way possible. As you can tell, I'm still a little irked by it. Ha! I'm sure that's not the last tactless comment I will receive for choosing to have more than two kids. It certainly hasn't been the first.

Anywho, back to Ellie and her Princessiness.  I asked Ellie what kind of a birthday she would like this year and to my (not) surprise, she said a Princess Party.  Well, to simplify things a little I had a few of her friends meet at McDonald's Play Place and the only real Princess-y thing about it was the tiara in her hair and the "Princess" cupcakes.  After a tiring morning of cleaning, I made the mistake of challenging Jackson to make Ellie's cupcakes for her party all by himself.  I wasn't expecting a serious answer, but he was totally up for it.  And so was Ellie.  So together they made the cupcakes, which in all actuality was more work for me than if I had just done it on my own.  Ha!  It woke me up I guess, and to be honest I thoroughly enjoyed it.  Then Granny enhanced it with her secret recipe of chocolate frosting that is unbearably amazing. I could eat it by the spoonfuls and be okay with it.  It was a fun day and went off without a hitch.  Here are some pictures of our fun Princess-y day!

 A huge thank you to the Burnhams for unexpectedly treating all of us to the Happy Meals!  What a treat!!  Honestly, it is so nice to have them here and I'm PREEEEEETTY sure the kids are loving the extra attention, too!

This is Sydney, Ellie's "big sister." I take care of Sydney after school so of course she came to the party with us (she is like family pretty much) and Ellie is in LOVE with her.  Makes me wonder how different life would be if she always had an older sister around to dote on her endlessly the way Sydney does.  She is such a beautiful girl inside and out and made the bracelet that Ellie is wearing in these pictures for her Birthday.  How sweet!  It broke while she was playing around, and we ALL got to hear how upset she was about it.  THAT'S how much she loved it.  And like a good big-sis, Sydney patiently retied it and all was well in the world again.
And here is most of the gang.  Joe had to do two trips with his parents visiting so the first load had already started home (missing is Sydney, Noah, Zoe and grandparents).  Front from left to right: Lily Smith, Ellie, Amelia Smith, Sam McKeown, Caroline Major (TOP L-R): Gabby and Madi Smith, Savanna and Luke Major and Jackson (looking like a teenager!).  We had such a great time!  And good luck, too.  Because it was a Monday night and it was freezing out, we had the play place pretty much to ourselves.  No battling for tables, and no one kicked us out for bringing Princess cupcakes.  I didn't have to plan any activities or do any dishes.  It was kind of awesome.

And now I get to talk endlessly about Ellie.  Just looking at this picture makes me realize how much she's changed over this past year.  She is definitely coming into her own and figuring out who she is.  And so am I.

She just started Sunbeams a few weeks ago.  I don't think she really knew what to expect from Primary, but I tried to make it sound as exciting as ever to be "old enough" to go to Primary and see your brothers, etc.  It didn't work.  The second week as I dropped her off she started hollering loud and clear, "Nooooooooo!  No I don't want to goooooooo!  It's SOOOOOOO BORING!"  Hahaha!  Haven't we all been there?  Or maybe just me.  Thankfully she didn't have a problem the next week going.  Likely because she got to hear every one sing Happy Birthday to her.  That always helps.  Not sure how next week will be without the spotlight!  Which by the way, she loves.  She's NOTHING like me.  Wink. 

Ellie is a mini-me when it comes to music.  She is always singing.  She picks up on melodies and lyrics really quickly.  Often she will hear a song once or twice and then I will hear her singing it all over the house.

She is also quite the Little Miss Home-maker.  Minus the cleaning up part.  She somehow always manages to finagle her way out of cleaning.  But she LOVES to help me make cookies or macaroni.  And that's pretty much all you need to know when you're a Mom, right?

Ellie is quite the fish.  She just moved up a level in her swimming lessons (which she still calls swimming "blessings) and can swim without a life jacket.  Yikes!  She and Ariel are like best buds now.

Ellie loves to draw and make crafty messes.  This is something her brothers have taught her.  When they get home from school, they will often draw at the table, and she just goes right along with them.  I just started to notice how good of a little artist she is becoming.  And she is very close to spelling her own name.  She knows all the letter, ...just not always in the correct order.  And the E's still have about 6 horizontal lines on them, but I just count that as artistic expression.

Ellie is all about love.  She tells me she loves me about 30 times a day and hugs my legs.  When she sees Joe and I hugging or giving a kiss, she wants to be apart of it.  The boys turn away, but NOT ELLIE!!  Ha!  She has to be right in the middle!  She is also very loving to her stuffies.  And occasionally even Zoe.  When she's not being pestered by her. Not only is Ellie all about love, but she is lovely.  I think she is one of the most beautiful little girls I have ever seen.  She has a gorgeous mix of Burnham and Ord eyes and I don't think she knows how lucky she is to have the lashes she has!  Not looking forward to those dating years.  Trouble with a capitol T!

Joe and I often refer to Ellie as "Katie" from Horton Hears a Who, because she can be a little on the strange side.  Sometimes she meows like a kitty.  Or pretends to sneeze.  Or makes awkward faces at the camera when I ask her to smile and I'm not sure if it's on purpose to be funny or if she has no clue how awkward she's being.  And it's... just weird.  We have a good laugh.  And not just at her, but even occasionally WITH her.  She truly is a ham.  This is where I think she is more like her Dad.  She can roll with the punches.  Often when Joe teases the boys they get upset or annoyed, but not Ellie.  She plays along with it and throws it right back!  This can back fire with the boys because she knows how to push their buttons.  But she also knows how to truly make them laugh.

Admittedly, Ellie is a bit of a couch potato.  I don't let her watch TV all the time, but in the afternoon during my quiet time and Zoe's nap time, you can BET I let it happen.  Snacks and "My Little Ponies" coming right up!  She also loves books.  If I could read book after book to her all day, she would be perfectly content with that!  We usually manage a book before bed.  Or one or two during the day at best.  She also loves babies, dolls, puppies, ponies and well, ...anything that you can call a toy, really.  when I asked her what she wanted to for Christmas last month she just said toys.  So, there you go.

The thing that Joe and I have noticed the most about Ellie these past few months is that she has really softened up and become a real sweetheart.  She has SOOOOO much love to give.  Her voice is softer.  She is more gentle and kind and thoughtful.  And life for everyone around her has become kind of awesome.  I think because of this I can see her personality so much clearer now and I am excited at the person she has become and is growing into.  She is a real sweetheart and we love her around here!  Happy Birthday Ellie!!

The Kidly-winks

Do not be deceived by these adorable pictures of Zoe.  She's a tyrant, plain and simple!  Okay fine.  She is in the cutest phase ever.  But she is so stinkin' busy!  Her new thing is climbing chairs and dancing on tables.  And here we see that she has also figured out how to use a stool to her advantage.

She is weeks away from being a year and a half and I cannot believe where the time has gone.  I remember pondering when I was pregnant with her on how old she will be when Joe finishes school.  Crazy that that time is now.  Well, only a few more months to go!  So here is the Zoe update.  She is SO SO SO chatty.  In fact, that would be an understatement.  She is constantly jabbering and mimicking whatever I say.  But the difference within the past couple weeks has been that she is starting to associate the object or desire with the word.  She gets it.  She knows what she is trying to say, and what I am saying to her.  It's kind of a great place to be.  Not to mention cute.  My fav words that she says on a daily basis are: "A-nuggle" which means, "snuggle."  "A-lack" or "Lack-Mamma!" which means, "I want to sit on your lap."  She often hands me a book while demanding, "book" if she wants me to read to her while sitting on my "lack."  "Peese-daddy.  Peese-daddy.  Peese-daddy" repeated over and over means "please I want that right now whether your name is Daddy or not.  Give it to me now."  Usually this is when I am drinking a smoothie or eating chocolate, of course.  Her favourite games are putting her dirty clothes back into her drawers for me to sort later, wearing Ellie's underwear on her head, turning on and off the light switch each time we enter and exit a room AND pestering Ellie.  In fact, today Ellie was peacefully eating some chips in a bowl and well, Zoe ran out of her own chips, so what other choice does she have but to grab Ellie's?  Well, ...Ellie is a screamer, and scream she did.  Louder and more fiercely than I can ever remember her screaming.  But did that stop Zoe?  No.  It just fueled her fire.  "Oh.  That bugs you?  Well, that's funny.  Let me try it again."  Hahaha!  Ohhhhhhhhh those girls are going to kill me.  After they kill each other.  Every once in a while they have their friendly moments and I try to focus on those.  For example the other night Zoe climbed into Ellie's bed as we were all doing the bedtime routine and I thought Ellie was going to freak out, but I wanted to just wait and see what would happen.  And she actually let her in under the covers.  I guess Ellie was NOT on her period that night.  So, of course I got my camera.  Because it didn't stop there.  They even started giving each other kisses and laughing.  Wha???  Please bless!

I need to teach those girls how to give closed-mouth kisses.  But look at how happy they are.  If only life could be this sweet every day.  Once the boys found out how much fun we were having they joined us and we had some fun making silly faces.

We are trying to cross our eyes in this one. Noah is my favourite. Ha!  Here's Noah's little update.  He's an angel.  The end.  Actually the other day after school he was a bit upset so I asked him about his day at school and he starting going off on this story through his tears, "Well, I'm sad because my old girlfriend (old-girlfriend???) was playing with someone else and I wanted to play with her but she didn't so I said I was never going to play with her again."  And then I went on to tell him that that was not very nice and probably hurt her feelings.  And then when I asked him what her name was he said, "I forget."  Must have been REAL crushed.  Ha!  And then he went on to tell me that his current girl friend (Samantha) moved away.  Sad.  All I could really do was give him a hug and let him cry on my shoulder.  (And where did all these girl friends come from?)  Then we did what I like to do when I am sad, and ate chocolate chip cookies with milk.  I think it helped. 

Jackson is a super ham these days.  Super is the key word here.  In fact, lately he is often overly-hammy.  To the point of obnoxiousness!  I have been DYING lately because I feel like everything out of my mouth towards him is, "Stop bugging Ellie!  Have you cleaned your room yet?  You haven't?  Don't sass me, just do it please.  Are you talking back to me?  Don't ask why you have to do it and don't tell me how much you hate cleaning, just do it!"  Nag nag nag!  I just want to be the fun Mom that doesn't have to lose her mind each time she asks her son to do something.  I hear that seven is the age where kids start to develop more of an attitude and I'm not ready for it.  He's still a really good kid and it could be a lot more frustrating.  But it's hard for me to lose my sweet and innocent Jackson who would just do whatever I asked eagerly, never wanting to disappoint and never asking why he had to do it.  He just wanted to do the right thing.  And now he is acting like all his friends at school and it bugs me to no end.  Thanks for taking my sweet Jackson away!  Sad.  At least sometimes we have the occasional moment together.  Last Saturday he was telling me that he didn't want to go to church because it was boring.  So, I tried to explain to him that it might be boring now, but as you get older you will LOVE church and really want to go because you will need it and when you can't go you will find that you miss it.  It was hard for him to understand that concept and I'm not sure he'll get it for a while, so I told him that I loved him and asked him, "Do you know who else loves you?"  His response, "Heavenly Father."  "And who else?"  With a smile, "Jesus Christ."  I felt like my job was done that night.  If he knows that, then I am feeling pretty darn good about things.  No matter how hammy he might be.

I will give a full report on Ellie in my next post as her birthday is just days away!  I cannot believe she will be four!  Lately, she has been a blessed thing.  Just sweet as can be (when she's not screaming at Zoe for stealing her chips).  And I kinda like it.  Four will be a good age for both of us.

These Is My Words

Let me just say, I love to read.  I didn't realize I loved to read until after I was married.  I wish I figured that out sooner!  It started with the Twilight series.  Go ahead and roll your eyes but it was the first set of books that really got my attention and THEN I realized there were more books out there.  Better books.  Books that took me to different places.  Better than watching movies!  And then I partook in book clubs where I wouldn't get to choose the books and that was good for me too because it's cultured me.  It made me read books I wouldn't normally read.  And some I totally would.  One of those was a book I read last Spring called, "These Is My Words" and it was kind of amazing.  About a young woman named Sarah traveling across the plains in the West to get to Arizona territory and claim some land with her family.  Be warned that lots of people die and you will cry reading this book.  But there is a love story like no other!  Worth every tear drop!  Well, my friend Darla lent me book number two and three and they have been sitting on my night table for many months as I have had a long list of books I intended to read before these two, but I promised myself I would start on them over the holidays.  Well, that was when I thought I would actually have time to sit and relax and read DURING the holidays.  I have gotten more reading in these last two days than I have all last month!  To be fair, the second book, "Sarah's Quilt" is a very slow start, but once you get around page 160 or so it picks up.  Oh it was so good.  Just finished it last night.  She is about 45 in this book and has grown children.  Her sons want to be ranchers like her, but she wants them to finish their education, etc.  There's way more to the story than that, but the lessons I learned from this one is that I need to be WAY more loving to my children.  Without giving too much away, more people die and there is disaster after disaster after disaster where you wonder would could possibly happen next to make this poor woman's world any worse!  But in the end it was one of those books where you count your bazillion blessings!  The amount of work that ranchers did back then was ridiculous!  I cleaned the laundry and hung it just in time for the biscuits to come out of the oven and then the cows needed their milking and the horses needed to be pet and fed and I gotta change their horse shoes and then I gotta check on the chickens and walk over to my brother's house which is a mile away and then come back in time to blah blah blah...and it's only 9:30 in the morning!  And THEN after her long day she still had to find time to make dinner for all these men who worked for her and her sons.  Ack!  Kill me now.  And no one could get away with grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner like I do every now and then when I'm feeling too tired/lazy to make anything more.  She had biscuits and gravy and potatoes and roast beef.  Every.  Day.  Anywho, so my point is, I'm a lazy sack of I don't even know.  Times have totally changed and I am grateful for it.  I said a prayer last night that I was grateful for the roof over my head and running water and a grocery store near by so I don't have to rely on my farm and non-green thumb to provide our meals.  And then I thought of the modern medicine we have.  If someone has a cough, they aren't going to die from it.  Thank.  Goodness!  But the thing I took away the most from it was, I need to treasure my kids for who they are and be a good and tender parent because I don't know how long I have or how long they have.  I made the mistake of talking to Joe about it last night after I had finished and he just rolled his eyes and was like, "you're not allowed to get depressed over this!"  Haha!  He's right on.  I kind of hate thinking like this because I usually get really sad, but I am going to do my utmost best to just live in the present and love each of my kids they way they need to be loved (I'm already failing).   And I for pete's sake need to show my love to Joe better.  Sheesh!  I get so comfortable that I forget how good I have it.  He's kind of the best, and although our life isn't this perfect fairy tale, I kind of love my life and my kids and him.  And by kind of, I mean, a lot.

I feel like I have a lot more to talk about but I would be giving the entire book away, and I think everyone needs to read this series.  Looking forward to book three!  More tangents to come!

We Left the House

Yesterday was our final Saturday together before school and order starts back up on Monday, so after all the sickness and yuckiness and being cooped up inside for the past couple weeks we borrowed some sleds and had the most (active) fun we've had all Christmas. SLEDDING!


We had such a blast!  Just what the doctor ordered.  And before I get started here, let it be known that that picture of Joe holding Zoe kills me it's so cute.  It was Zoe's first time sledding and man that girl is cute/brave.  No hesitation.  We even let her go down with the boys a couple times, ...which we got looks for, but thankfully there was only one spill which resulted in Joe sliding down the hill to rescue and comfort a snow-faced Zoe.  Didn't stop her though.  I couldn't put her down because if she wasn't in a sled she wanted to be running down that icy hill!  No fear.  Ellie, on the other hand, stopped after she realized that she needed to steer a GT.  She got in a few runs on the other sled, but then thought she'd try her luck on the GT AAAAAND almost flipped it over.  Thankfully she came to a sudden halt halfway down the hill before she did any real damage!  And then she wouldn't go down again.  She managed to be a good sport about it though, and laughed at the rest of us for going down the hill in silly positions.  Jackson and I ended our sledding journey by going down head first on our backs for our last run.  It was only fun because I didn't get hurt.  Last time I went sledding I killed my tailbone, so I was a little hesitant this time.  Plus we were all sharing two sleds, so I kind of left the fun up to the kids.  But yes.  I snuck in some fun too.  I'm a FUN Mom.  See?  A FUN and COOL Mom.  Right?  Right?  But for reals though, I need to remind myself to do fun things with my kids more often.  No wonder they say that Family Home Evening or vacations or just recreation like this brings a family closer together.  It bonds you.  And I kind of love that.   We haven't technically done any real family vacations together, like camping or road trips other than family reunions on Canada Day, so I am looking forward to starting those up this year.  The kids are getting older where it's more manageable and I am really excited for this phase of life we are entering.  We don't have a lot of our questions answered yet, but I know this year will bring a new job for Joe, a new city, new ward, calling, friends, etc.  And I'm starting to feel really ready for it.  Wow.  This sledding story sure took a turn.  But is that really a surprise?  I  mean, come on.  I always go on tangents.  But for reals, I am excited.  I love my family.  They're kind of awesome.  I love my life.  Less awesome, but still cool.  And I am excited for the future.  Yeay beans!  

My Professional 2014

I just read somewhere that how you spend New Years Day is a sign of how the rest of the year is going to go for you.  Ack!  I sure hope that's not true because I have been lazing away this day like no body's business!  However, I HAVE been thinking a lot about goal setting because that's the natural thing to do at the beginning of a new year.  I kind of hate doing it because I always feel like it's so formal and this year I have decided to be less formal about it.  I'm an informal person, okay?  I already know that I will progress myself physically and spiritually because that's just who I am, so I'm not going to write about it.  If I find I am lacking somewhere I will make small goals as I go.  That's how I work.  Joe and I already make quarterly goals for that sort of thing anyway, so I guess that's another reason why I don't feel the need to write out this lengthy list of lofty goals that I will likely fail at!  But what I AM going to do is write down two BIG things I would like to accomplish this year.  For me. 

Over the last couple years, and especially last year, I spent a great deal of time writing this Musical (that still has no title), and am at a point where the script is in a solid enough place that I can finish writing the rest of the songs.  My goal would be to finish writing the rest of the songs before we move back to Alberta.  So, before May.  I am actually really excited to get back into the swing of things this way.  Order!  December was a whirlwind and I have not had a chance to touch this musical!  Bad Maren.  But the kids will be back in school and Joe will be back in school, ...so it will be back to the grind for me too!  And yes, I am excited to work.  Who is this person?  Anywho, all I really wanted to do in the first place was have someone else write the script so I could write the songs.  They do the hard part.  I do the easy part.  That didn't quite happen.  That being said though, I really stretched myself and found I had more capabilities than I thought.  So although it was hard and frustrating at times, it was also kind of an awesome experience.  And THAT being said, I am now excited to focus on what I believe to be more of my forte.  I am hoping this part will come easier than the script writing process!  Because that took a year and a half!  Ack!  So that's that. 

My second goal is a bit random because although I've always wanted to do this, I never thought it could become a reality because I wondered when the heck I would ever do this.  BUT I reminded myself as I was reading the children the Elf on the Shelf book.  I thought to myself, I could write this.  I could draw this!  I could totally do this!  Although I love reading books and drawing, I have never written a children's book, nor illustrated one.  But there's a first time for everything!  And I think I have inspired myself just a teensy by writing this musical.  It makes me feel empowered a little bit, like I truly can do anything I set my mind to if I just take the first step and TRY!  It was hard and I failed a lot.  But I also had enough tiny successes that kept me going.  It might be an awful book.  The sketches might be terrible---because let's face it, I haven't sketched much since high school---AND I have never drawn a cartoon before.  BUT it could be really good.  We'll just have to find out.  I've looked into it a little bit over the holidays and bought myself a sketch book and black pens.  And I have been having a blast!  I have forgotten how much I love to draw!  And how painful my fingers feel after sketching for far too long.  I also love playing with rhymes.  I don't intend to publish it, so there's no pressure to please anyone, but I am excited to see the finished product.  And then we will see!  I'm pretty excited! 

I am reminded of several months back when I was reading Barb Butler's blog.  She said that instead of setting goals, she becomes a "professional" at something for a whole month.  Whether it's being a professional teacher, or cook, etc.  Instead of going month to month, I think I will be a professional over the coarse of this year.  So, I think I've decided my two professions for this year will be a theatrical song-writer/recorder AND a children's book writer/illustrator/cartoon extraordinaire.  Now the key will be how to do all this AND be a Mom at the same time.  Um.  Any ideas?